I couldn't officially decide whether to Blog about Mean Momma's, Mompreneurs, or Raising Daughters. SO Im gonna kinda combine the 3 topics. So here's my random mess of #unfiltered thoughts.
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You think once you graduate high school you escape Regina George (Mean Girls) and her clan. Well, if you have a vagina, then, well... you're pretty much wrong. No matter how much you tend to your own business or try to be kind, trust me she'll still be there. Whether it is some mean woman at your work, or momma that lives in the neighborhood watching you jog. Mean mommas don't wanna see you happy or successful. I guess it's an insecurity or (an a-hole) or jealousy issue . If she's not a bully in the real world, then she's definitely on social media platforms. I think at some point in our lives we've all spoke negatively about another woman. Regretfully, I know I've been a mean girl before in the past. You are flat out lying if you don't raise your hand, girl. Jesus knows. But as you get older, you'd think more women would be building each other up instead of devouring each other on Facebook, a kid's ball game, OR the beauty salon. Don't take it personally, it's not about you. In my humble option, it's about them and their own insecurities with their bodies or personal lives. Just ask them this...
I'm kidding... but for real. It's kinda funny and true.
You mean girls/bullies...you say you got Jesus? Where he at? I don't see him, girl. We do, however, see you posting caddy Facebook status posts on the daily and posting many rude opinions. So what if your sister didn't breastfeed? Did that baby starve? I didn't think so. My 4 year old takes a paci? Whatever. His teeth are just fine. Except that one cavity he has and that one thats kinda dead at the rot from where he jumped off the chair and nearly broke it off.
I'H HERE TODAY TO GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE, GIRLFRIENDS!!!!
Have you heard T. Swift's new jam? OOOOOOO...look what you made me do? "I got a list of names and yours is in red underlined?" Ok, I'm not saying create a shit list of names and throw darts at it. Sounds kinda fun, though, right? Just kidding. Or create voodoo dolls with their hair. BUT...if you're on FB...create a block list.
Don't do it to be mean, but just as an easy way to get rid of negativity in that area. You don't have to see their posts, and they don't need to see yours. Plain and simple. If you know that someone can't keep your name out of their mouth, then why would you allow them access to your personal page and information? It's common sense. It's not mean. It's not childish. It's just an easy way to get their nose out of yo business.
If I would've blogged about this topic 10 years ago, it would be a completely different post. I'd say go confront her and tell her to kiss it where the sun don't shine. But now that I'm quickly approaching the last year in my twenties...my views have changes. Confrontation rarely gets you anywhere. It does, however give those mean ones the satisfaction of getting under your skin and upsetting you. The truth is, they don't deserve your time, or your anger. And if you allow them to cause anger and hurt, in a way, they own you. If you see them out and about, you may wanna cry (I'm a crier sometimes if my feelings are hurt.) OR...you may wanna grab them by the hair of the head and show them a side of hood they aint seen, and I aint talking about that sweatshirt you're wearing right now either. But the best thing to do is KILL THEM...with kindness. Smile, show them that regardless of their opinions of you...that they will never get you down. Show them that you DO have Jesus in your heart, and show them by example. Remember, that you have a clan of WOMEN behind you cheering you on. Because that's what real women do...empower one another. That's why I posted this. For you to know I am encouraging you if you're struggling. I myself, am soooo thankful for a an amazing team of family and friends that would be ready to do have my back under any circumstances. Those are the ones you need to focus on. Honey, if you do me wrong, my nana will never, ever like you again. She might pray for you or smile at you, but make no mistake...she will not like you. And neither will my aunts. π€£π€£π€£ Loyalty means everything if you're a woman. And I'm so thankful I was raised by a strong woman, surrounded by strong women, and taught firsthand how to be just that. Ladies, you need to hang with people who have your back...always. On your good days, and bad days. Good friends don't care if you're skinny or if you've gained a few. They don't care if your hair is clean or dirty. If you're single or divorced. They don't judge you if your kids may slip a cuss word here or there, or if your car is a mess, or you have soured milk spilled in the floorboard. They shove all that junk in the front seat over, and hop in with you. It's because they don't come to judge. They come to accept and love you for who. you. are. Plain and simple.
If you're currently going shopping at a store, or getting your nails or hair did somewhere where they are constantly bashing people, I encourage you to stand up for what you know isn't right, and take your business and wallet elsewhere. Trust me, I'm ALL about a good laugh. But not as another woman's expense. Unless...you shit your pants or fall and bust yo butt. I'll go get you new panties, or call 911, but I'm still gonna giggle, sister. But, I'm gonna do it to ya face, not ya back. One time in high school, my friend Heather donated blood, and was about to pass out, and was puking her guts up. I couldn't go get help because I was laughing so hard. But, in my defense, she knew it was a disease I've had since I was little and I couldn't control it π€£π€£π€£. I'll just stop right there with all the stories I could tell about me laughing at inappropriate times. Y'all that know me personally, know this to be true. But that's another story, for another day.
My take on Momprenuers and MLM sisters...
I see those of you fussing constantly about your Facebook friends who do multilevel marketing companies such as Youinique, Lipsense, Monet, Plunder, Avon, Beach Body, ect. But the thing is, no one is making you buy it. And guess what? You definitely don't have to bash or belittle them on your FB page. Yes, I know it's pricey. It could possibly get annoying...I get it. I know those $25 leggings you bought may have a snag, or that morning milkshake has a funky wang to it. But when you buy from these ladies, you are helping pay for dance lessons, put groceries in the pantry, or keeping the electric bill paid. This may help pay for an international adoption to give a child a christian home. This may help pay for medical bills for their child with cancer. It's not for everyone. And I'm telling you, I don't usually have the extra cash flow to spend $50 on lipstick or mascara. But I still support those mommas who are hustling and making money from home! You go, girls! You know why? I'm a small business owner, and sometimes it isn't easy. But you won't hear me constantly downing my competition. Why be so grumpy about other mommas trying to provide for their fams? It's not what women are called to do. Women are called to EMPOWER and ENCOURAGE.
We are raising daughters who want to be just like us....scary thought, I know. They watch every move we make and take in every word we speak. I know I fail daily when I raise my voice, or let a cuss word slip, or if I let her overhear me talking about my flaws or my ugly stretch marks. I want my girls to know that God made them in his image. And no one should ever make them feel less than they are. I want them to know that they are kind, they are beautiful, they are grace. I want my girls to know that beauty goes way beyond appearance, and that they should guard their hearts and always keep them pure. I want them to know their worth, and never question it. I want them to know, that no matter how many bullies they may face in their lives, that they should always hold to those truths and to the truths that God has written for them.
You see, we hear so much on the news about bullies, but bullies aren't always just in the hallways at school. Someone once asked me, "Why don't you speak to yourself as if you were speaking to your own daughter..."
That hit a chord with me and was a game changer. The tears began to fall as soon as I heard those words. Mommas, sometimes the bully isn't just the mean girl in your town or at your kid's school. She isn't the lady at the market that might look down on you, or the fit woman judging you at the gym. Sometimes, the bully is you, with your own self. Don't beat yourself up. If you are reading this, think about your daughter, or future child...ask yourself, what would her words be if you are her influence? Would her words be kind? Would they be uplifting or encouraging? Would they reflect love? The fact is, no woman leads a perfect life. Sister, we all got problems. That's just life. But, I'll never understand why some women find happiness from kicking other women on the ground. If this person is you, it's not too late to change your ways. If you are the person that has been affected by these type women, stay calm and call your mom. I'm kidding. But that's what I always do. She always gives the best advice and encourages me to let it roll off my back and keep smiling. Then she is ready to whoop ass so I don't have to... So, you know, it's a win/win situation. I'm kidding, y'all. But you feel me? Raise your hand if you are a momma bear or if you have a momma bear as a mother?!? π€£π€£π€£ If you do consider yourself lucky! It's an instinct to protect your babies, that's for sure! Something I've learned to be true is this...
Ladies, don't be ever let yourself a victim. But instead, be victorious. Live your life and think on those things that are good, noble, and right. Read proverbs, say a prayer. Don't feed into drama or respond to it. Surround yourself with REAL women. Those that truly care for you and those that don't find joy in gossip, lies, or in another momma's problems. Keep your head high ALWAYS. Don't ever let anyone dull your shine...ever.
And I'll leave you with my favorite Mean Girls quote...
I wish we could all eat a cake full of rainbows and smiles, and everyone eat a piece and be happy.
Today...CHOOSE HAPPY. CHOOSE POSTIVITY. Be the WOMAN, you want your daughters to look up to. And go give another woman a compliment. She might need it today.
Here's to STRONG WOMEN...
MAY WE KNOW THEM...
MAY WE BE THEM...
MAY WE RAISE THEM.
Ladies, I wrote this months ago and just decided to share it today. It was written for those who may be struggling and I hope it helps encourage you today! Thanks for always reading and sharing! Mommy post about my crazy kids coming next week!