A letter to myself 10 year ago...

     Today, I turn 26.  I can't believe it has been 10 years since my 16th birthday.  I thought it was only fitting that I jump on the blogging bandwagon and write a little letter to myself at 16.  As you know, I am very random and I hope it makes sense to read.  Here goes...


       Dear Me,  my 16 year old self.  First off, let me say don't listen to your teachers and family...  these years are NOT the best years of your life.  Far from it, my dear.  Those years are yet to come.  The party and wild years in high school never were your thing.  I thank you for that.  You're an old soul, so you fit in much better in your future age.  I also thank you for sticking with that cute boyfriend of yours.  He turned out to be a pretty awesome husband.  Do I need to remind you how lucky you are?

      Thank you for not listening to those that said to date around.  Or that you all would never make it.  Congrats!  You did!  I'm not gonna lie and say it has always been easy, or that you don't have your fair share of fights.   But you've never gave up on each other, and you are very happy.   Getting married at 18 was one of the best decisions you've ever made.  You've grown up with this guy, and now you are raising a family with him.  You love him like crazy, but are not afraid of putting him in his place.  Can I give you some meaningful advice though?  Start training him to pick up his clothes out of the floor and do the dishwasher more.  He still hasn't mastered that. ;)  I will promise you this much, he will love you and fight for you like no one else.  He always supports your crazy dreams, no matter what they are.   It has to be said, that I thank you for never sleeping with anyone else.  At 26, it's pretty awesome to say that you've only been with your husband.  This is something I hope our daughter can take pride in one day.  Yes, you have a daughter.  Your dreams of ribbons, curls, pageants, and cheerleading came true. She is a spitfire and you made over.  You also have 2 adorable sons, who keep you on your toes.  Oh, and SURPRISE!  You are pregnant with your 4th and 5th!  TWINS AGAIN!  How awesome is that?

      Ok, ok, I'm getting a little ahead of myself.  I don't wanna spoil all the awesome surprises you have in store over the next 10 years.  So, let's rewind a bit.  You shouldn't be so nervous over that driver's test.  You will do just fine.  But, you will get pulled over a couple times.  And, congrats...you've managed to keep that little secret from your parents for 10 years now!  Enjoy all those sleepovers with Elliot, Jessica, and Holly.  You will miss those, a lot when you are older.   Don't be such a chicken during tumbling class.  You won't break your neck, I promise.  Also, enjoy that body, girlfriend.   Rock that orange bikini as often as you can.  It has been replaced in the future by a solid black one piece.  As I type this, those perky boobs of yours are having a seat in my lap.  Their duty is now to feed babies...probably lots of them.  But that's another story. ;)  

You survived high school and all the drama that goes with it.  Surprisingly enough, you do miss it.  No, that's a lie.  You still don't miss high school.  You miss them.  Because it is true what they say.  You all grow up and take different paths.  And don't keep in touch like you should.  Make more time to call and text.  Don't work too much or too hard.  And don't too excited about that job in cosmetics at Victoria's Secret.  You end up hating it and it only lasts a few weeks. ;)  And you make much more money waitressing for now.

      Stand strong in your beliefs.  Don't ever be the "mean girl."  Don't let opinions of others affect you.  Always be kind, but let others know where you stand.  But I'll be honest,  sometimes, being stubborn and hard headed aren't your best traits, girlie.   Don't be too prideful to say you are sorry.  Choose your battles wisely, girlfriend.   Especially those with your future mother in law.  You don't hate her forever, I promise.  Now that you have sons, you understand her a lot more.  You actually get along wonderfully now that you're older and wiser.  :)  Kidding, Rhonda! Love you!  

Another thing...Spend more weekends with nana and pa.  Stay in your jammies and just enjoy the spoiling.  Eat rotel and steak at midnight.  Ask Pa a million questions and listen to all his stories.  Thank Emily for all those pancakes on a stick that she bought you.  And thank Jesus for letting you both survive when she let you drive her car without a license.  Soak it all in.  Because, you will miss him one day, more than you can ever imagine now.  His sweet voice and his gentle spirit.  There will never be another like him.  And spoiler alert...as much as you hate the name Henry, now.  You'll change your mind when you give your son Pa's name sake.  Dax Henry is pretty cute, you have to admit! :)

   Don't be so hard on mom and dad either.   Sure I know they ground you an awful lot now, sometimes for no reason at all.  Kidding, mom!  Not really, hehe.  It's just because they know you are in love and want to keep you with them as long as possible.  Enjoy your time with them at home, it will pass very quickly.  And don't worry about Dad...he'll come around.  I know you have your  arguments now about your choice of clothing and that new Justin Timberlake shirt he forbids you to wear.  It gets better.  He just didn't know how to handle you as a dramatic teenager.  He does much better with you as an adult, and you happen to have a pretty awesome relationship.  Your mom is still just as dramatic, but your biggest fan and bestest friend.  Go to the movies with her more often.  Because, trust me, movies don't happen much anymore with 3 little kids running around.  And your brother is still a little shit.  Just kidding.  You like him a lot more now.  Especially when you see him playing with your kids.  You eventually forgave him for running you over with his four wheeler and sending you to the ER.  Haha!  That doesn't compare to the time he steps through the ceiling of your new house.  Just wait til that moment!  Can you believe he actually has a serious girlfriend now?  Be taking notes of all the stuff he said to Cody to embarrass you.  You need those about now.

         My dear, nothing I can say can prepare you for the drama in Cosmetology School.  As you know, girls can be mean.  But, you survived that too.  And it was pretty fun.  You meet some awesome girls, that you still keep in touch with today.  And some of which, have became your clients.  Ahem, photography clients.  Your hair has been every color, including pink.  But, please don't be a model at that hair show again.  You will regret that decision, I promise.  They lie.  They don't just "texturize."  They give you a bowl hair cut, with black and white stripes.  And regardless of what they tell you, you DO NOT pull off that look.  You lived your dream and was a great cosmetologist for a year or so.  But another of advice,  practice eyebrow waxing a little bit more.  And don't laugh when you jack up and eyebrow or two.  But, my dear, I think that is a lost cause.  10 years later, and you still haven't grown out of that habit.  And it will get you in trouble a few times and cause you much embarrassment.  Oh well,  laughter is good for the soul.  During that year you traveled to the big Apple to a hair show.  Shortly after, you began your journey of photography thanks to your awesome mom.  That is the career you fell in love with.

      Don't be so sad during your first couple years of marriage.  I know it's hard not to be depressed, and you can't see past the word infertility.   Try not to get upset at the people who tell you "to relax and you'll get pregnant."  Or those that'll say, "Maybe you should just adopt."  Just be a good christian and just smile.  Or, just punch them in the face.    And honey, trust me, it's coming.   All you desire during this time is the family you've always dreamed of.  And honey, It's coming in a big way!  Enjoy those trips with your hubby to Walmart and Steak and Shake in the middle of the night.   Take more naps, sister!  You need to be saving your energy for motherhood!  You will feel like a doctor after all the educating you have done via google on the topic of IVF.  You will gain a new respect from your husband as he watched all your body has to go though to conceive your children.  Once those babies finally arrive, you'll get it.  Everything will make sense.  It is then, that you will experience the best time in your life.  You will not be able to imagine life before them or without them.  Though, you have an awesome career, your biggest, greatest job is being their mommy.   Momma will become your proudest title, and you will drop anything and everything for them.  You may find it amusing now, but one of your biggest accomplishments in life was potty training twins the month they turned 2!  I still like to brag about that one ;).  I have to say, you're pretty good at growing babies!  It is the sad truth that the world we live in is getting even further from God and colder everyday.  But there is still good too, and I think people forget that.  Always, love Jesus and love people.  Even if it isn't the easiest thing to do at times.  

SO...16 YEAR OLD ME...these years are fun.  But they definitely aren't the best.  Those days are ahead of you.  But enjoy and seize them all, because they pass too quickly.  Don't rush any phase that you are in, because it is shaping you into the woman you are still becoming.  You will hold many titles in your life...but trust me...Momma is your favorite one.  And being a wife is pretty fun too!  Especially when you have a hot husband who gives you foot massages and watches reality shows with you ;)  I love this life and thank God for letting me live it!  

Thanks as always for reading and sharing! 

Pint Sized Potty Mouths...Mommyhood unfiltered

      Let me start off by saying, as for me and my family, we LOVE Jesus.  We love Jesus a lot.  My babies cried last week to go to Sunday school and know tons of bible stories.  We work on bible verses and try to teach them right from wrong.  We have strong faith and morals.  We listen to Way FM in the car most days.  I try to set a good example for them on a daily basis.  Now... I say all of this to keep you from judging me too harshly from the stories you are about to hear.  ;)   But let's be honest, we all screw up sometimes.  I am well aware of the fact that I say shit too much, especially when a demonic cat got into the house last week... and I sometimes hold grudges longer than I should.  I have lots to work on as a christian and a mom.  It's a process that is never ending.  No matter how hard I try, there is always an area in my life that God reveals needs improvement.
       Do your kids ever say something that makes you want to crawl in a hole and die?  Do they ever say something that make you question your parenting?  That makes you wonder where you went wrong in your teachings?  Gosh, we have those moments all the time now that our children have attitudes and minds of their own.  I was flabbergasted last month when Hudson told me on the way home from a birthday party that he wanted some damn ice cream.  ( I hate typing that word)  I couldn't help but gasp and jerk the car over on the side of the road to...ahem...address this issue.  We DO NOT talk like that at our house.  He later informed me that he heard it off Step Brothers.  Way to go, Dad!  You get extra brownie points for that one ;)  Who needs Full House or Dog With a Blog when you can watch Step Brothers, right?  I also realized that we should never, ever let "uptown funk"  play for even a second in the car.  I heavily regretted not paying more attention after I overheard Hudson a few days later singing his own rendition.  The "funk" part lacked an important letter.  Dear Lord, please help me do better and be more careful with small decisions.  I am their mother and molding them into good little humans.  I am the potter and they are the clay.  Please don't let that task turn into a lumpy ashtray or something like that.  ;)
      Ofcourse, you've read in my past blogs about Paislee calling her brother an a$$hole.  We're still working on that too.  Cody came home from work a few weeks ago and asked who had put the teeth marks on the bar of soap that was on the counter.  Take a wild guess.  Little Miss Potty Mouth.  But, she blew us all out of the water by the little fiasco she threw last week at the beach...

      We had the best day.  It was 75 and sunny at the beach.  We played at the pool, played at the splash pad and of course built sand castles at the beach.  That night after much begging, we agreed that we'd take them to the amusement park.  Absolute heaven on earth for 2 5 year olds.  I can't tell you how many times we rode the teacups, the train, or the carousel.  They just couldn't.  get.  enough. We didn't get them to bed until 11.  Ofcourse, most normal children would sleep in the next day.  Not my children.  Honestly, the later they go to bed, the earlier they wake up.  Crazy, I know.  I knew when I heard cries at 6 am coming from Miss P, that I was in trouble.  It was a point of no return once she was awake.  She is stubborn like her momma.  She won't budge.  I try to pick her up, and she yells for me not to touch her or talk to her.  I promise my daughter isn't usually a brat, she is normally sweet and kind.  She was just overly exhausted.  Did I mention she has a temper too?  Finally, I give up and let her be.  Lying in the floor of the condo whispering fiercely and violently.  Wondering what she's talking to herself about, I realize that I too, am exhausted.  And too lazy to ask her.  She finally settled down and agreed to venture out to Thomas's Donuts.  It is a famous local donut shop in PCB, but the wait is always forever long.  Typically, I wouldn't wanna fight the crowd, but let me remind you, I am 21 weeks pregnant with twins...and I love me a donut! :)  So me, Miss Paislee, and baby Dax went to the donut shop so that we don't wake Daddy and Hudson.  We waited in the line that was wrapped around the little building.  Pais was finally back to her sweet self and telling me what kind of donuts were her favorite.  It was Dax's turn to be a terror.  He decides he doesn't like waiting in line while seeing people leaving with donuts in their hand.  This was torture to his chinky little self.  He was hungry...and he was MAD.  I try to explain we have to wait our turn, but he doesn't want to hear it.  He jerks my sunglasses off and begins to slap me in the face.  "NOOOO.....MOMMMMMA!'  Thanks Daxie Poo, I appreciate the love pat.  Now, I'm getting the sympathetic looks.  Poor pregnant girl.  She looks a mess.  She is sweaty and huge, and she obviously can't control her children.  Moms, you know those looks.  They're the worst.  So, it was finally our turn.  I chose the most delicious ones and wrangled my sweet little monsters back to the car.  When we finally get back to the condo, I felt like I had just ran the New York Marathon.  And girls,  I do NOT exercise.  If you see me running, you should call for help, because there is probably an emergency taking place.  I get that gene from my momma.  I laughed hysterically and uncontrollably at her in Best Buy at Christmas for picking out a fitbit as her gift.  Ask her how much she has used it, y'all, hehehe.  So you can imagine the panting I was doing.  All the kids are in great moods now!  My Hudson was all rested up, and my P had some time to wake up in the car.  Dax had food, so Dax was good.  It doesn't take a lot to please that little dude.  I,  excitedly, told Cody what I had picked for him at the donut shop.  He proceeds to tell me that he thinks he'll just have fruit loops.  I could think of a few not so nice things to say to daddy in that moment, but mommy holds back.  I model grace and self control.  But,  I mean, seriously...what a jerk!  I try to do something nice and this is how he pays me?  By eating cereal?  Hey Pais!  I'm about to extend the vocabulary of your potty word list or kick him in the balls if daddy doesn't eat a dadgum donut that I waited in the hot Florida sun for!  He finally ate them, and agreed they were good.  Momma wasn't so furious anymore...All was ok in the world.  To the beach, we went!  ;)

20 weeks with Cubb and Cozi

      I got WAY off topic.  Anyone surprised?  So later in the day, while out at the pool, P had a guilty conscience.  "Mommy,  I'm sorry about this morning.  I already apologized to Jesus."  What?  Your fit this morning?  It's ok, sweetie, I know you were tired.  But, by the way...what were you whispering? "  "I was saying bad, bad words to Jesus."  WHAAAT???  I heard the gasps from you readers.  Don't call CPS.  Go ahead and start throwing the holy water at me now.  I know.  It's horrible.  I tell her she better get on her knees and tell Jesus how sorry she is.  And she never says bad words...ESPECIALLY TO JESUS!  Cody and I decided that she believed this was the absolute worse thing EVER, that her 5 year old little self  could do.  Atleast she felt convicted and knew she had done wrong.  But, shewwww.  She sure knows how to keep us on our toes.  Though, this incident was making me laugh on the inside,  I kept my composure.  I didn't laugh at all and told her how sad that made me, her daddy, and sweet Jesus.  Let's just say, I think miss priss learned her lesson and will NEVER say a bad word to Jesus again.  I almost left this story out, because I didn't want anyone thinking we were horrible parents.  I swear, I have never said a bad word to Jesus, y'all.   I'm pretty sure the big guy upstairs forgives us, and I'm pretty sure he has a sense of humor too. 
      To say we had an awesome vacation at the beach would be an understatement.  We had amazing weather, awesome food, my hubby made lots of runs for tuna dip at the seafood market and decaf iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts.  We ate seafood every night!   We were all pretty content with each other's presence.   Other than the occasional back seat wrestling matches between H and P.   It was our very first big trip with just us, and I'm so glad we had that special time before the new twins arrive in a few months, and things get REALLY crazy fun.  We have had such a busy year, it was so nice to have some quality time just to relax and play with the kiddos.  Our vacations since becoming parents, have always been about the kids.  That's how it will be until they all leave the nest.  We are on their time, and that's what makes it fun!  And it has to be said, that I am so proud of my anxiety stricken hubby.  He always has a slight fear of traveling by ourselves.  What if there was an emergency?  What if there was a fire or a tornado?  My man can spot a funnel cloud 100 miles away even if there isn't a cloud in the sky.  Enough picking on him, he did awesome!  He cool, calm, and collected.  Even though I know he needed to chill  be medicated through the tornado warning we encountered on the interstate on the trip home.  Thank God for Cracker Barrel!  We were able to take a pit stop for some breakfast at 8 pm and let the bad weather pass.  Our bed never felt so good that night!

     The moral of this story is that no one is the perfect parent.  You can have all the awesome FB statuses you want making yourself sound awesome.  The truth is, you probably are awesome!  But, we all have our moments.  We all have our days.  Those little reminders from God telling us to "work on that."  Thank God for his sweet grace, love, and forgiveness.  I know after this past month,  I need to hang a little sign that says "be careful little ears what you hear."  Because my 3 sweet kiddos watch and listen very carefully to everything we say and do.  But some of that stuff they come up with on their own and we have to show them grace too!   I want to set a good example so they always know in their heart what is noble and right.  On an end note, Pais asked this morning if I could dye her hair blue for her kindergarten registration this week.  She wants to be a superhero, because that is their theme in Sunday school this month.  Oh no, Kindergarten registration is THIS week.   Maybe we could go on vacation again and accidentally miss it.  ;)   Pray for me, girls.  You know I'll need it.  Promise to blog very soon and their won't be any swearing next time.  Much love and Happy Monday!  God Bless!  As always, it means so much that you tai the time to read and share!  :)