So...I peed on a stick

      I'm sorry this post has been delayed.  I have been so tired this week.  It is also distracting to type this while my 4 year old is swinging her pink umbrella all around the house, my Hudson is trying to "wash dishes," and Dax is yelling "ho, ho, ho" every 5 seconds.  My life is quite amusing and chaotic...but I love every minute.  Back to my story...So my bed rest was peaceful.  I slept a lot.  And prayed...A lot.  I watched Hallmark movies and edited pictures too.  My mother in law brought me lunch and I ate every meal in bed, which was nice.  I expected to get a phone call from my mother that someone needed to come get my wild kiddos.   I have to say, when they are together, they can be a handful sometimes.  But they are lots of fun!  She had them for 2 whole days, folks.  I didn't think she could handle it, or break up the fights between the twins, but she did it.  Though they had to FaceTime me a few times to talk about "going to Santa's naughty list" if they didn't behave...they made it.  I missed my babies.  They never stay the night away from home, so I was "homesick" for them.  Friday they were back with me and my sweet cousin India came to help, since I still couldn't lift my Dax.  We had a great day and she was a huge help.  Saturday was a day packed full of activities.  Paislee had a cheer competition and Hudson had his football party with his friends.  I never recommend taking your baby or husband  to a cheer competition without an iPad and lots of snacks.  They will get bored and whine, both of them.  On the way to Glasgow for Hudson's party, I informed Cody that I was indeed, pregnant.  I just knew it.  I had a cold sweat and a wave of nausea.  My boobs even hurt a little.  I just had "that feeling."
      The hardest part about IVF what they call the "2 week wait."  It's a killer.  You drive yourself completely nuts wondering if you are or aren't.  You cry, you pray, ...and you wait.  Then you wait some more.  But something was different this time, I felt such a peace that I can't explain.  And I know why that is.  It is simply because of you.  Yes...you.  All the ones who have prayed for us.  I felt them, and it was overwhelming.  The bible says....to pray without ceasing.
I wondered...but I never worried.  It was like God whispered in my ear to say, "I got this." My sweet Nana says if you feel peace from God...it means your prayer has been answered.  It was quite a miracle in itself, because I'll be honest, I am a worrywart.  I worry all the time.  Especially when it is something that is beyond my control.  But this time, I just felt peace.  I felt God.  I knew his sweet spirit was carrying me through this whole thing, and regardless of the outcome, everything would be just fine.
     During your wait, You are careful not to lift anything or do anything to strenuous.  You guard your belly like you have a ticking bomb under your shirt and any bumps could set it off.  Let me tell you, girls...in my house...I'm in the middle of a war zone.  There are pillows thrown, nerd balls tossed through the air, and sippy cups pitched across the room...all the time.  It also doesn't help that I have a little cheerleader that wants to flip off everything and "stunt" on everyone's shoulders and every piece of furniture we own.  I should've been smart and worn a bullet proof vest to protect my uterus.  Or strapped pillows across me.  But my "big babies" understood that they had to be very easy with mommy and careful around my tummy.  Paislee talked to my belly and rubbed it every hour.  This part made me nervous.  I didn't have the heart to tell her if this didn't work and if my belly happened to be empty.  Hudson and Paislee were so excited!  Dax, on the other hand...he was pissed.  He is the baby of the house and VERY spoiled to me.  He loves to cuddle and be held all the time.  I rock him to sleep...every night.  He did not understand why I couldn't pick him up every time he grunted.  It broke my heart.  But I sat in the floor and still gave lots of cuddles.
      On Sunday morning we went to church, had lunch, and went to my parents to visit.  Cody went to feed his cows and me and the kiddos were just hanging out with Mom and Dad.  All of a sudden, my little man took off walking to me while standing by the couch.  I was in shock, because I didn't expect it to happen that quick and I was not expecting it.  Talk about a special moment.  There is nothing like the excitement and joy in your heart like witnessing your sweet baby's first steps.  There is an old wive's tale that says when a baby walks it is just making way for a new baby.  My Nana told me this an hour or so after Dax walked for the first time.  And a few of my Facebook friends actually commented that under the video I posted that night.  If they only knew how true that "tale" happened to be for me.
      It was 4 days after my transfer.  My blood work is 11 days after, which isn't until NEXT Monday, the 15th.  I've never followed the rules, I always cheat and take a test, but never that early.  But I couldn't resist.  I peed on a stick when I got home.  "Yuck, Mom, what are you doing?  Will that tell us if you have babies in your belly? Gross, I am never having kids,  that is disgusting."  Yep, that's word for word advice from my 4 year old.  Did I mention there is NEVER, ever a dull moment?!?  So, I didn't see anything but one big fat line, so I put it down and got the kids ready for bed.  But...I went back to peek again a few minutes later.  Is that what I think it is?  No, it's just my mind playing tricks on me.  I knew it wouldn't show up this soon.  So I yelled for Cody for a second opinion.  He wiggled it around and squinted really close.  "Yup, that's definitely 2 lines!"  "Oh my God!!! It is?  Are you sure?  You're not sure, are you? Really?  Is it positive?  Oh my God! AAAHHHHHH!!!!"  Then I jump and scream really loud.  In short,  dramatic, turret- like bursts.  <<<< I know I didn't spell that right.  I called my mom, called my mother in law, and made them promise not to tell.  But, ya know how that goes.  What does a girl do when she gets a positive pregnancy test?  She takes 5 more...ya know...just to make sure.  I woke up the next morning and took another one...ok...2 more.  Just to watch that line get darker.  I was so excited and not expecting it to show up so soon! That can only mean one thing, my levels are pretty high.  Which, HOPEFULLY means both embryos took.  Yes, I said hopefully.  We really do want them both, with all our hearts.

      I wondered whether or not I should share the news so soon on FB and my blog.   I decided yesterday, that I would.  Because, here's the thing, I have been an open book with you all from the get go.  You all have supported us, laughed with us, cried with us, and prayed for us.  Talk about an awesome support system.  When I started this blog a couple months ago, I never expected this big of a response.   I did this to bring awareness and be a "voice" for those who are experiencing infertility.  I hoped to share our story so that others wouldn't feel like they were alone in this journey.  I wanted to educate others on the process of IVF so that they could better understand how it all works.  Now, every week. I get countless emails from moms and women who are praying to be moms.  And my heart goes out to all of you.  I know that pain and I feel compassion for all of you.  I love talking and giving advice...or just lending an ear you can talk about it to.  My dream is to take my story and write a book one day.  I know it is a big dream, but it is on my bucket list. ;)  I love documenting everything about our journey, and I love that you all enjoy reading it.  I cannot thank you enough.  But anyways, back to my story.  I am getting off track again.  I decided to share this big news early and I am so glad I did.  I posted this short video to facebook yesterday.  Here is is...

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      Shortly after, we received TONS of sweet words and congratulations.  We are so grateful and excited to hear all of them.  We thank you.  But, sometimes, when you tell people you are pregnant with your 4th or in our case, possibly more, you get blank stares and it becomes a little awkward.  It's almost like you just told them you have cancer, lol.  I do have a sense of humor about this, because sometimes, those reactions are humorous.  Especially when you tell them it was very much planned.  Especially when your mom or mother in law say just how excited we all are.  Some people don't know our story and they just "don't get it."  And that is okay.  But I often wonder why big families are looked upon as a burden to so many people.  Yes, guys, we know raising a family is  expensive.   But so is that fancy vehicle drive. ;)  We will have to make sacrifices and I may or may not have to give up my Matilda Jane habit.  But...Why?  Why are the Duggars scrutinized and made fun of...but the Kardashians are praised and put on a pedestal?  A sweet momma of 5 that I admire so much, Wendee, once told me..."after the 3rd baby, people stop offering congrats."  Why do so many people look at a big family as a big burden?  It just doesn't make sense to me.  I see it as a big BLESSING!  But then again, a lot of people think I am nuts too, haha.
      After dinner last night I see that my best friend is calling me.  One emotion comes to mind...FEAR.  Anyone that knows Alicia knows that she is complete opposite of me.  She's the best.  She is organized...very organized.  She is a planner...and she is getting married in June.  I am going to be a bridesmaid.  I thought, "Oh no,  she is gonna ask me how I plan on fitting into my bridesmaid dress!  Oh, no,  she is gonna be stressing."  But when I answered, all I heard on the other line were sobs.  She was crying because she had just watched the video.  I had already texted her and told her I was pregnant, but the video brought her to tears.  She told me she was so happy and I had been through so much.  She gets me.  She doesn't judge me.  She gets me.  And she is genuinely happy for me and my decision to give all these embryos a chance.  She embraces my chaos.   And she never once mentioned me fitting into my dress or being big and pregnant in June.   And that in itself, makes me want to cry.  One of other best friends, Beth texted me this morning and said the same thing.  Our friends and family know all we've went through and they are so supportive.  Not once, have our parents scolded our decision to have 10 or 12 kids, if that is how many take.  They haven't questioned why?  Or how?  They just love us and support us always.  Which means more to us than they will ever know.
      We have a lot of hoops to jump through and we still need lots of prayers.  We go Monday for bloodwork.  Hopefully my levels will be high and healthy.  Then I have to go every other day to Nashville to get bloodwork and make sure my levels double every 48 hours.  Then on the 29th, we will go for an ultrasound to check heartbeats and see how many are in there.  We hope and pray everything will go smoothly and we will have a happy, healthy, and uneventful pregnancy.  And don't worry...I plan to blog every week.  :)  Thank you always for reading, PRAYING,  and SHARING!  We love you all!