Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Turn Off the Lights...a tribute to my Valentine.

      With Valentine's Day upon us, I can't help but think of how this day has changed for me since becoming a mother....
      Our very first Valentine's together I was just a 14 year old love sick girl with braces.  I watched out the window for the sight of that Red Ford pickup truck coming down the gravel driveway.  He showed up with a goofy grin, a big teddy bear, and a heart shaped necklace.   I loved sitting on my parents couch gazing into his big brown eyes. 

Us at my senior prom.

      That's the only place we could see each other, in the living room of my house, my parents were a bit overprotective.  I couldn't date him for 2 years after being together.  He had to come see me every day.  Heck, Cody couldn't step foot in my bedroom until the day we got married.  I wonder why they aren't like that with my brother and his girlfriend?...hmmmm.  Haha!  Then there was the Valentine's Day the month before our wedding.  He took me to our house, which was under construction at the time.  We had dinner in the middle of our living room floor, that was covered in sheets of drywall.  It was a mess, but it was very romantic.  The next year, even though I longed for a pregnancy, it still hadn't happened yet.  We were child free.  So I did what any newlywed wife would do, pranced around the house in lingerie.   The days where the coconut oil in the kitchen pantry, wasn't just used for greasing up the skillet.  Hehehe!  We'd go on dates whenever we wanted and sometimes to Walmart and Steak and Shake at midnight.  My, how times have changed!   Fast forward to now...  

      Marriage is tough.  Anyone who tells you it isn't, is a liar.  There are days that just the sight of my husband makes me want to punch him in the face or knee him in the balls.  He doesn't even have to say a word.  Sometimes I'm grumpy from little sleep, and jealous of his ability to sleep through a plane crash.  Then there are times that my heart could simply burst while watching him.  Like when he wrestles with the boys, coos at Cub and Cozi, or brushes Paislee's hair after bath time.  

And of course I wanna jump his bones, when I see him folding the huge pile of laundry sitting in the kitchen, or loading the dishwasher without being asked.  I know, at times I drive him nuts too.  Like when I throw away important tax documents or shove things in drawers.  Or when I guzzle bottled water louder than a horse.   Cody and I are both Taurus.  Most would say those signs would never mesh well together.  We are both stubborn and hard headed.  When we argue, it can get pretty ugly.  We fight hard, but we love harder.  There have been several times the past 8 years if our marriage, where I wanted to walk away. But in our 13 years of being together, we've never walked away from what we had.  It aint always been pretty, but it's always been worth it.  

      Now, 6 months post partum,  I'm not feeling too hot.  I have stretch marks in places I didn't know you get stretch marks and a few extra pounds that I haven't ditched yet.  I feel like Nelly Furtado's "Turn Off the Lights"  is the theme song to my sex life.  It has to be pitch black in the room before I let him touch me.  And if it isn't, this is what you'll hear.  "Eyes up here, big boy.  I see you checking out my stretch marks and saggy boobies.  Eyes up here.  Don't look at me."  He says I'm a bit dramatic and that I am sexy and beautiful to him.  Good things those lights are off so he can't see me roll my eyes.  But he can hear me laugh a little.  Let me tell you, ladies...breastfeeding puts a damper on your sex life.  It's hard to switch roles between nurturing twins, to performing your wifely duties to your husband.  After nursing 5 children, my nips are pretty much the same consistency as rubber and tough enough to cut glass.   Before kiddos came along, our bedroom was always clean and candles were always lit.  We would binge watch One Tree Hill and sleep til noon on the weekends.  Now, our room is covered in laundry, toys, pacifiers, and diapers scattered in random places.  Cody wanted some "cuddle time" the other night while he was laying in bed watching Jimmy Fallon.  Something happened that hadn't occurred in a long time.  I got wet...like really wet.  But not for a reason that you may think.  Get your head out of the gutter girlfriend!  My 2 year old, which happened to be sleeping naked, had peed the bed and drenched us both.  His brother decided it'd be a good idea to give him a glass of Kool Aid before bed.  Talk about a buzz kill.  You can't make this stuff up.  Haha, so much for that!  LOL.  
      Sometimes,  it isn't so romantic around our house.  Ok, I lied.  Rarely, is it romantic around our house.  Most times, we are chasing our naked toddler around as he stumbles aimlessly like a 2 foot drunk man, making messes.  We are breaking up wrestling matches between H and P.  And playing a game of hot potato, passing our 2 6 month olds back and forth to be changed, fed, and played with.  Their isn't much time for romance.  This winter, our house has been hit with one virus and ear infection after another.  You want me to tell you another parenting game that isn't too fun?  Keeping track with who has had tylonel and antibiotics last.  Have I mentioned that our little man, Dax still sleeps with us?  SO if the stars ever perfectly align and we are able to be intimate, we have to be sneaky and make him a pallet somewhere in the floor.  We have to tiptoe around the room like ninjas so he doesn't wake up.  H and P also like to pile up in our bed too.  Last weekend, Cody had came in from feeding the pony he got me.  He walked in the bedroom and I had to warn him to be quiet because the kids had just fallen back asleep...AND for him not to step in the puke that was on the floor next to my side of the bed.  Someone is always puking at our house.  Hudson had got to coughing too hard and vomitted.  He gets that from my Dad. He can be running around in the basement playing, and the next thing you know, he's taking a quick break to puke in the trash can.  No lie,  while he was puking in bed...MID-PUKE...he asked, "UUUGGGGHHHHHH,  (PUKING), CAN I STILL RIDE THE (PUKING) PONY TOMORROW, MOM?"  
      One thing is for sure, Marriage takes a lot more effort when you have kids.  Especially 5 kids.  Whether it's carving out time to for sex or a conversation without interruption.  I feel like when Cody and the kids get home from school, we have to shout at eachother quickly and loudly, as if we both have Tourette's.  Everything is loud and the kids are excited to tell me about their day too.  I can remember when I was a little girl, every day around 2 pm, Mom would put on a fresh face of makeup.  I'd ask her where we were going and she'd respond, "Nowhere.  Your daddy is coming home from work and I wanna look pretty."  Seriously, how Stepford Wife is my mom?  She pretty much vacuumed in pearls and had a meat and 3 cooked EVERY DAY by 4 pm.  Seriously.  And I rarely ever heard her say the word shit.  No wonder I feel like a dad gum failure sometimes.  She set the bar high.  Cody comes home from work and most days, the house looks worse than when he left.  I am usually wearing the same big tshirt and no bra.  I've usually been spit up or peed on more than once that day, and haven't saw a mirror since God knows when.  BUT, there is usually dinner going.  And I have to say, I'm a pretty good cook.  (Atleast I have that going for me.)  Most of you all heard my funny story on Facebook the other day about our internet guys, but I'll tell it again.  The NCTC men showed up at my house and looked a bit frazzled after walking through my kitchen.  The babies were screaming, there was a giant hole in my ceiling, and they nearly tripped over a kitchen cabinet in the middle of the floor, as well as the giant pile of laundry.  Not to mention the colorful marshmallows, Dax had managed to scatter everywhere in my house.  I told my mom over the phone, that the younger one would NEVER wanna have kids after visiting my house, hehehe.  SO REWIND to the week before, to the hole in our ceiling.  You see, we are planning to build on soon.  So my man was mapping out the attic and looking around at the space when boom, there he falls through the kitchen ceiling.  You know me, I start screaming a word that rhymes with Spit.  And the kids start screaming it's snowing in the kitchen mom!  I had to help push Cody's leg back up and review the damage.  Then we all made a family effort to pick up the insulation.  Good thing we don't need his spermies anymore.  Because it's very possible it may have damaged that area. You should see the rather large bruise in his groin area.  My poor guy!

      Mr. Harper is a good man.  He is the best friend that I have ever had.  I know that he, more than anyone, ALWAYS has my back.  I also know that you better not even THINK about saying a negative word about me around him, or he will make you eat your words.  He is a bit defensive of me.  He reminds me of the way my Pa was of my nana.  Hell hath no fury on the person who spoke anything negative of her in his presence.  It's the little things he does that makes me feel special.  He brings me a caffeinated beverage every day.  Whether it be a coffee, a sweet tea, or a diet Dr. Pepper with Vanilla.  He knows at 3:30, I need a jolt of energy.  He also encourages me to do small things for myself, like take a hot bath or to go to the tanning bed.  I love the way he rubs my feet while I edit pictures every night on the couch.  Or we discuss our latest Netflix obsession, Parenthood.  I love talking about my big dreams and he never acts like they are too big.  He always says, "DO it, you should, you'll succeed and do great at whatever you do.  When and if, I write my book or open my Sweet Cheeks Boutique one day, I'll owe it to Mr. Harper for always pushing me to pursue my dreams.  He always builds me props or buys me anything vintage that I think will look good in pics.  He wrangles sheep, horses, bunnies, and chickens for my mini sessions.  He gives every pinterest project a shot.   I never, ever,  doubt if I am loved or taken care of.  And he always tells me I'm beautiful, even when I know I'm not.  


      Everyone loves a good love story.  And it may sound cliche', but ours is my favorite.   





 I am more in love with today than ever.  I adore the man and daddy he has become.  We have lived and loved more in the past 13 years, than some couples do in a lifetime.  I feel happy and blessed to be his wife EVERY day, maybe not all day, every day....but every day.  I love that despite our flaws, we still choose to love each other, every day.  And the love we have for our 5 munchkins, keep us together like Peanut Butter and Jelly.  I may not be dressing up in a little black dress and going out on the town on Valentine's.  But I know I'll be sitting on the couch next to a pretty awesome husband.   And there is nowhere in the world I'd rather be.  Who knows, we may get lucky and get some cuddle time too! ;)  Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours! 

Until Next time,  Love and Babydust! Thanks for reading and Sharing!






 



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