The Summer of Momma Truths...

      Hey friends! Goodness, I have missed you and blogging!  It's so hard to sit down and catch up sometimes on our busy life!  This past year has been an absolute whirlwind!  Those who are closest to us can laugh and think on some of the humorous, experiences we've had along with it.  But I'm so blessed to be a good kinda busy with the crazy kiddos and the hubby.  Thank GOD for teachers being off in the summer and my man can enjoy and help mange all the shenanigans these kiddos get us into daily.  I've decided to play "truth is" about summer break with kiddos.  I think yall will have to agree with most of my opinions.  I can't believe it is almost July!  After July, comes August and I'm not ready for that again!  Who likes schedules and being without my biggest babes all day?  Not this momma!  For now we are gonna soak up this summer and enjoy it the best we can!  I go from not being able to love them anymore, to being ready to squeeze the cuteness off their cheeks.  Know what I mean?  You know how I roll, randomness...everywhere! 

      One of my fave quotes comes from Jerry Seinfield, “A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”   But the thing is, This is our life yall, especially in the summer😆.  I'd like to think we keep it fun, laid back, with a lotta chaos, and a little structure in there somewhere.

Truth is:  They're always hungry...Like always.  As soon as I clean up a meal, they wanna know what's for lunch or snack.  And if they eat a late breakfast and skip lunch, you will not live it down.  Paislee keeps a record of her daily meals. and though she eats like bird, if you even think about jipping her one, she will make you sorry you did.  Seriously, we buy out Sam's club snacks in bulk and boom, they're gone in 2 days.  My kids would live on snacks alone.  I blame it on their grandparents.   Ninny and Grams live off giving them junk food, I swear.  They love it, but then act stressed out when it makes them crazy.  Ninny goes to the store and gets errrebody, their momma, and their 3rd cousin a pack of gum or candy.  She smuggles junk food like nobody's business, and Grams stores fudge rounds in the oven, I'm kidding (but really, she does).  Ninny has every cabinet and corner packed full of the goods. Sugar, hydrogenated oils, chemicals, gluten, you name it. If you need junk smuggled into Alcatraz,  call Ninny, she'd your girl.  She will find you, and she will hype you up on sugar.  and...Thank God for auntie Christie at all the ball games, I tell her she has a magic bag like Barney that she pulls all kinds of goodies out of...it's like an endless supply.  Nothing momma packs is ever good enough for them.  She also carries enough bandaids to patch up an army troop,  They're all little bottomless pits who love to eat and be spoiled 😂.

Truth is:  Everything is sticky.  My couch, all 50 of my kiddos fingers, the girl's ponytails, Cub's mouth, Hudson and Dax's clothes.  The floorboard of my car.  A patch of my armhair.  What is this?  Gum?  Cornstarch?  I mean, where does all this stickiness come from? Whatever you do, don't lick it.  I learned my lesson at the drive in a few weeks ago.  Cozi did not have sticky chocolate on her belly. Today Cody got on his hands and knees to scrub the kitchen floors and guess what happened?  (By the way, He's so sexy when he's scrubbing floors 😙)   Paislee fixed a bowl of dog food, Cozi spilled her chocolate milk, And Cub spilled half a bottle of grape coke...and I still have no clue where it even came from.  Within the hour, lucky charms, cheerios, shopkins, and more sticky shit accumulated again.  We cleaned it back up and tonight, guess who was shoveling handfuls of nesquick powder in their mouths?  Dax and Cub.  Dax used to hate having a little brother, but now he knows he can accomplish more shennanigans if they tag team and work together.  He also thinks it's hilarious to teach Cub phrases that he knows will get him in trouble.  Phrases that I'll hold off on typing my first blog back.   Everyone loves Dax, there is just something about him.  He steals people's hearts with his mischevious smile and potty mouth.  Last week someone asked him his name at the pool and he responded, "Dax Grayton Henry Asshole."  Mic Drop.  Boom.  Yeah, I mean, you know.....what do I say to that?  How do I even defend my parenting at this point?   He completely left Harper off and said his name in the wrong order.  My aunt told me the other day we must cuss like sailors for them to have the mouths they do. But we really don't, yall.  We do slip up some....and I say shit, but alike my memmy always said...that's "not really" a cuss word.  But they've clung to a couple not so great words and use them accordingly.  Hudson has spit bubbles out his mouth twice this week from getting in trouble for saying an ugly word. We have to have a come to Jesus meeting every Sunday on the way to Sunday School (we do take them, I promise) about talking nice and not saying ugly words. He's kinda like his momma, and his filter doesn't work too well.  But he's 3, pretty cute and gets away with more than he should 😆. But, he says he loves you more than 13 cannonballs and past the moon too, and you forget the dirty words and kneel down for a hug.  And if you don't, well ya aint no friend of mine.

Truth is:  Questions never stop.  Some days I feel like I'm on trial.  Some days I feel like they think I was sitting next to God, the father on the day he created the universe.  "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, heyyyy, mommy."  Mommy, do you have $103 for a mermaid tail.  I'll give it to you.  I'll get it out of your wallet and give it to you to buy me one."  

          Say Mermaid tail, ONE, MORE, TIME. 
"Mommy, what do you do when underwear gets really stuck in your butt?"  "Where do animals go when they die?"  "What if you ever die, Mommy"  "Is the tooth fairy real?"  ..."Are you sure?  Because sometimes she's late."  Then there are days when I question myself even more than their little innocent ponders.  "Did I play with them enough?"  "Do they like having a big family?"  "Will they need therapy when they're adults?"  "Do they know how deeply we love them?"  Do we tell them enough bible stories"?"  "Am I too hard on them, am I patient enough?" "Am a good enough christian momma/wife?"  "Do they know how hard I try?"  "Do they know I'm one crying fit away from the nuthouse 👏?"

Truth is:  The lifeguards hate us.  Especially this one little guy.  He takes his job pretty serious and He hates to see us coming. I mean hates it.  I see the look of dread in his eye every. single. time.  I guess it's hazardous having 5 kids vs. 2 adult parents ratio.  He's annoyed as soon as its his turn to stand at our area.  So what if they go down the slide upside down.  A little water up the nose never hurt a kid.  Oh, he's kicking his brother in the face?  It's called character building.  Disreguard that.  We don't allow one another to hit, we usually sit down calmly and express our feelings by gently hugging it out.  Pshhhh, hehehe.  I wish it worked out as peacefully as that.  I made the kids wear a giant 2x Christmas shirt last week that said, "Chill Out."  And threatened to put their screaming fit on youtube if it didn't stop. I'm pretty sure the mom with the only child hates us too.  Or maybe it's because Cub may or may not have pushed her kid while in line at the froggie slide 😏 ...not sure.  Or because they are loud and fun and like to splash.   People ask us all the time how we do so much and go places with 5 kids.  Back off, Hitler.  Fuss at my kids one more time, and I'll take you for a swim. 😂  Yall know I'm kiddin.  I'd be on guard too, if I saw 5 wild kids at my section rough housing in the water.  People ask us all the time how we do so much and go places with 5 kids.  Well, folks...it's not a death sentence.  And truth is,  if we keep them at home, they break things, injure eachother and destoy the house if we don't keep them busy.  We like keeping them busy and letting them have a fun summer with activities even if it means out sanity sometimes.  Hudson is kinda a spaz like his momma and has a intense fear of the kids getting run over, or kidnapped, or falling from a high place.  Yall momma bears out there know exactly what I mean.  The other day at his ball game, he was screaming at me from the dugout to watch the babies better!  He yelled "Get over there and watch the babies!  They're gonna get run over!"  It makes you feel pretty insecure when your 7 year old keeps you in check.  You know you better get with the program.   My anxiety has been pretty out the roof at times since the twinsies have become toddlers.  I'm constantly screaming their names frantically if I can't find them.  I felt especially dumb the other day when I was panciking over losing Cozi, all while she was strapped to my back in the tula.  Mommin makes ya crazy.  Can I get an amen?


     The truth is, I just can't catch up...like ever.  If you look up Hot Mess in the urban dictionary, there I'll be.  I try, but it gets me no where.  If it's not the house then it's the messy car.  But my momma didn't raise a liar...so I'll tell ya.  It's usually both...well pretty much always both.  I'm behind on all the things, yall.  All of em.  It it's a thing, I'm late.  I'll get to it, it'll get done.  But probably in the witcing hour.  Procrastination is my spirit animal. Is that a thing?  Anyways, you know what I'm saying.  That laundry pile grows overnight and spreads like a bad case of poison ivy.  One thing about summer break with 5 kiddos, is that there is never really downtime.  Because I'll be honest, my kids all act like they're on uppers.  Except for my oldest daughter.  Her favorite past time is googling expensive mermaid tails and watching youtube videos of other little girls playing with their barbies.  All while pouring her own drinks and spilling it everytime on her trek to her bedroom.  Love my little diva and her songs she loves to write.  We busy...all the time.  Ball Practice, swim lessons, playing in the water slide, sandbox, cleaning up messes.   Around this house, Summertime comes swimming pools, waterslides, wet hair, Pelican Snowballs, late suppers, movies, screaming and chasing my kids out of the driveway, washing mouths out with soap, breaking up fights, catching lightning bugs, nights at the drive in, going batshit crazy.   You know!  All the fun stuff! We try chores too and they do good sometimes.  But that's about a reliable as my phone battery and ability to text people back.  One of my favorite things is watering my flowers in the mornings on my porch while having my morning coffee.  But I wish I could refrain from smelling urine right off my steps.  We have tried everything to get Dax to stop peeing off the porch, but we still have no luck.  He says, "I'm watering flowers, mommy!" As far as clothes go, well, they're usually in the yard or floating in the kiddie pool, along with the Spiderman underwear.  Anyone that's close to us, knows that's just how he rolls.  We try, but that's all we can do folks...he has a brilliant little mind of his own.  😂 Dax ran over to the neighbors a couple weeks ago (while they were in the process of a home visit with their social worker about their sweet girls they're adopting.  He beat on the door, completely naked, screamed he was starving, and pleaded for a cheeseburger.  )Thank God I wasn't far behind him to return him back to our yard.  The next week, he thought he'd be sneaky and go to their back deck and knock to ask for chicken nuggets.   She took a pic and texted it to me.  Good thing he's cute.

Yall know I have so many stories on that kid, I could write a book on him alone.  Cozi is nuts over him and has recently been picking out clothes for him and chasing him down to try and force them on him. 😂  

Truth is:  We're all losing it.  I once read via Fb post..."We're all losing our shit, some just hide it better than others."  Sometimes, all we can do is try our best and just roll with the craziness.  We gotta be honest with eachother, but most of all ourselves.  It's totally ok to "not have it all together."  If you're ever being too hard on yourself, come see me.  I'm definetely no June Cleaver or Michelle Duggar (God love her).  I don't really know what I am, but it's definitely not those two.   If you have any comparisons let me know.  Take a breather, give yourself some slack.  Sometimes, we set ourselves up with expectations we can never realistically meet.  God created us all for a divine purpose, and motherhood will be one of our greatest testimonies.  We gotta always remember that"If you want to change the world, go home and love your family."  

Truth is:  It goes too fast.  Ever heard that phrase "The days are long, but the years are short?  I've found this to be more true with each year that passes.  How is it possible that I have 2 kiddos that are going into second grade.  That reminds me we should probably be reading more 😏 .  I'll set an alarm on my phone to do that next week.  Cody and I make a pretty good team.  Mostly, because we mutually love these little monkies more than anything, and more importantly, because we love eachother.  I am beyond thankful for a helpful husband who tackles these summer days with me.  I can honestly say, I loFor now, I'm cherishing the time that my babies actually want me and need me.  Even if it's sometimes overwhelming and tiring, I'm soaking it up.   I know one day, they will wanna stay gone with friends and I won't be so cool anymore to them.  Whatever, I'll always be cool.  You should see us hit the quan in the kitchen.  

Anywho,  thanks for following along with our craziness and my random rubbish.  Share if you'd like.  I'll be back real soon.  There are too many stories to tell!  Much love to all! 

-Andi