Lose Yourself...

       Hello again sweet friends!  I swear, I could blog every day about my life and the hilarity of my 5 kids.  I wish I had time!  But here is a post post y'all can all relate to...

       Sometimes, as mommas, it's easy to lose yourself.  Lose yourself under the never ending laundry, that can never be caught up.  Lose yourself under that pile of bills that comes every month, and the worry that comes from that child that is struggling in school.  We lose ourselves in...
      Sleep Deprivation.  I swear on Santa's reindeer, I feel like I aint slept in 8 years.  Y'all feel me?  It seems like I take a series of light naps everytime I lay my head down.  It just happens when you become a mom, you cannot sleep soundly.  And someone at my house is always waking up.  Someone falls off the bed, has a night terror, or needs a drink of water.  If you're Cozi, you beg to put on a pretty pair of shoes at 3 am.  Or if you're Pais, you may be seeing a ghost at the end of your bed. The first 6 months of Cub and Cozi's life were a huge blur for me.  I was just soooo tired.  But the thing is, we cannot let our exhaustion cause us to rush through these stages.  These babies grow up wayyyy too fast.  We have to seize the moment, with our dark circles and a cup of coffee in our hands.  It's important to really "be there" in the moment with them.  Even if they're telling you the same story over and over, or asking you 22 thousand questions.  If we don't enjoy the moment in the phase we are in, we will have a lifetime of regret, for letting it slip through our fingers without truly being there and enjoying every moment.  One day, they won't need us as much, and we will wish that they did.  
      Sometimes, we even forget our own passions and interests.  The other day, I made my girls a headband for halloween.  And though it wasn't an easy task to do with 3 little mischief makers running around, it made me remember that I love crafting.  I just never have time to do it.  What were your hobbies?  Do you remember?  We tried to craft last night making ornaments out of sticks and ribbon.  I always picture us watching elf, while having cookies in the oven, music playing, and giggling while creating something fun.  HA!  JOKE IS ON ME!   Last night, our craft ended in tears from Pais about how bad she sucks at patterns.  Hudson kicking a wall because he can't tie well, and momma yelling while burnin her dadgum salmon.  Meanwhile, Dax takes off his clothes and plays in wax from a candle, and Cubbie goes through and destroys errrrebody's craft.  
      Sometimes, we lose ourselves in the to do list. I'll be honest, most days I feel like a dadgum failure.  Why can I seriously not keep my shit together?  I mean, really.  I told my friend last week that I should get, "wingin it,"  tattooed on my wrist...along with my other tattoo ideas.  👊  That's just my motto, whether I like it or not...that's me.  That has to be how God wired me, because even when I try, I feel like I fail, over and over again.  I wish I could afford to pay someone to organize my life.  Maybe when I'm 30, or when I write my book ;)  Anywho,  Last week was a tough week, I honestly can't even remember many details, other than crying calling mom... and sending some texts venting to my hubby.  I think I may or may not have gotten chewed out in spanish, had the truancy attendance officer visit my house, and had part of my carpets ruined. I'm not sure 😉😂  My mom caught wind, and when I went by her house and she had me a little gift.  A coffee mug, soft blanket, and pj's.  I thanked her, but when I got the kids to bed that night, I bawled like a baby.  Yall, it's nice to be thought of, even when we put ourselves last on the daillllly.  Small gestures of kindness go a long way.  We forget sometimes, that we are humans, we are women, not robots.  It's hard, sometimes.  But it always gets done.  For me, it's always in the last hour, on a whim and on a prayer.  But nevertheless, the things get done.  And oftentimes, that "to do list" gets nothing crossed off, and gets splashed with chocolate milk, but ya know there's always tomorrow.   
            Sometimes my to do list is soooo long and rarely anything gets accomplished.  But one that I have, but sometimes fail at too, is to reach my babies hearts.  Thanks Momma Duggar.  Sweet Michelle, I love that woman.  I swear if I could meet anyone besides Jesus himself, it would be her, no lie.  I wish I could raise my kids like her, (except for the weirdo one that liked prostitutes.)  But anyways, I heard this on an episdode one time and it really stuck with me. In the middle of chaos, still let your kiddos know that they matter too, individually.  Maybe they're whining, or complaining about a friend that hurt their feelings, but we have to reach their hearts and let them know they matter, no matter how chaotic is gets.  Multitasking is hard, but we somehow master cooking, cleaning up spilled milk, all while breaking up a wrestling match, and studying for an AR test (and repeating for the 23rd time that asshole is not a nice word to say.).
      Sometimes, we lose ourselves in the self doubt.  We look in the mirror and see yesterday's makeup and dark circles.  You look to the right to see a framed, glowing picture of yourself 10 years ago and long to look that way again.  You become certain that your husband is lying when he tells you how sexy you are every day.  You magnetize your flaws and think on those things.  I'm a totally and completely unorganized, fly by the seat of my pants, air headed, scatterbrained, messy, momma.  I hate these traits, but they totally make me who I am.  And honestly, if I sweat the small stuff, I'd be in my grave by now.    Like, why do we even have scissors in the house?  

Yep, he did that.  But, really, I'm surprised it just now happened and he hasn't done it sooner...

 My babies and hubby are the fuel that keep me going, along with 5 cups of coffee, a lot of Jesus and an occasional cigarette.  I pray for God's grace and forgiveness daily, and hope that he has a sense of humor for my crazy life.  I got a good heart, but sometimes this mouth gets me.  Some days you just gotta do you, even if it's messy and you doubt everything about yourself.  Just own it, momma. 

     Dads have tough weeks too, Ladies.  Last week my husband called a microwave a bit%h.  We've only had her a couple days and the poor thing hadn't even been plugged in yet.  I'm sure she feels downright used.  Where's our feminist rally?  I was in the living room editing when I heard the conversation.  He couldn't get his screws in the wall without stripping, so he took it out on her.  Mental Abuse is never the answer. You see, it was one of those days.  After paying way too much money for a gigantic baby gate, we put that sucker up and giggled when Cubbie, a tiny little man of few words, said "Let me Out!"  And shook the gate in frustration.  Since we are adding onto our home, the boys have found hammers, screws, concrete mortar, and anything else you could possibly think of to try and destroy our home.  They've cut fresh drywall, scratched fresh pain with screws, and thrown mortar like it was their job.  If that shit causes blindness, their little retinas don't stand a chance. So, anyways, after successfully keeping them out of new room during construction yesterday, they decided to rip open a newly delivered UPS box and pull out all the foam protectant.  Have you guys ever tried to clean that stuff up?  Omg, it was disastrous, so much for washing my hair that day.  

      Sometimes we get lost in the messes?  Messes?  You don't have those?  Maybe this blog aint for your liking, then.  I'm kidding.  But really, if you're a momma and don't have messes, I wanna know your secret.  Cause if my kids enter the room, it's messy, and I've learned to accept that and y'all that are beating yourself up, need to accept it too.  

I had a blizzard going on in my house after that devilish styrofoam...and there was no freakin containing it.   Those plans were replaced with  sweeping and vacuuming little white pieces of snowy, foamy, product errrywhere.  After a few hours, momma had it taken care of.  But, when daddy arrived home, Cubbie thought he'd pull a shennanigan on him.  After daddy had stained more lumber, as he's been doing every afternoon, for weeks, Cub decided to lock himself in the car and have an all you can eat halloween candy feast.  Daddy looked like a bipolar looney dad that needed a trip for a check up at the 6th floor.   He'd go from saying, "Come here buddy, daddy wants a hug."  To straight up veins protruding out of his head and beating the glass window.  Cubbie just smiled and kept eating that sugar.  lol
      The big thing is, that no matter how many times we lose ourselves a day...we gotta keep finding ourselves to.  

 Remember who we are before we had tiny humans just like us.  Go on the date with your hubby, cuddle him on the couch and have a conversation that doesn't involve potty training or report cards.   A sweet friend ran into us at Sam's Club this weekend and reminded us how high the divorce rate was in couples with multiples or lots of children.  And how happy they were to see us thriving and happy.  That meant the world to me.  You gotta keep loving each other and finding each other even on the hard days.  It aint always easy, but it's always worth it!  Last week, my sister in law watched the kids while we had a hot date at Shogun Express and Sam's Club.  It was just what we needed.  It wasn't fancy, but we had some one on one time to laugh and talk.  Mommas, Buy yourself an expensive cup of coffee.  Go for a drive, take an art class...Reach out to your friends....keep in touch no matter how chaotic things are.  Don't always put yourself on the back burner.  I know it sounds superficial, but I ALWAYS feel better when I take the time to apply a full face of my pretty makeup.  It doesn't happen often, but I know it should.  Create a group text with you mom friends where you can make fun of yourselves and laugh at your lives.  I do this sometimes, and it keeps me laughing all day.  The other day one of my girlfriends car got broken into, we all laughed at what a sick joke it would be to break into ours.  My friend said they'd find "pissy panties and moldy cheeseburgers"  Laugh at the funny stuff, try again, and forgive yourself over and over.  Life is too short.  Eat the elfin cake. (If you feel the need to curse, and the F bomb isn't really acceptable with small children, elfin is a good substitute with the holidays.  Don't ya think?  Random tip/ thought I know. )  Sit down on the couch with your babies with a big ol comfy blanket, enjoy the moment and phase you are in...and watch a Christmas movie tonight!  You deserve it!  

Thanks for reading, following, and sharing!  I love all of you!  

How to Handle Mean Girls...

      I couldn't officially decide whether to Blog about Mean Momma's, Mompreneurs, or Raising Daughters.  SO Im gonna kinda combine the 3 topics.  So here's my random mess of #unfiltered thoughts.

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      You think once you graduate high school you escape Regina George (Mean Girls)  and her clan.  Well, if you have a vagina, then, well... you're pretty much wrong.  No matter how much you tend to your own business or try to be kind,  trust me she'll still be there.  Whether it is some mean woman at your work, or momma that lives in the neighborhood watching you jog.   Mean mommas don't wanna see you happy or successful.  I guess it's an insecurity or (an a-hole) or jealousy issue . If she's not a bully in the real world, then she's definitely on social media platforms.  I think at some point in our lives we've all spoke negatively about another woman.  Regretfully, I know I've been a mean girl before in the past.  You are flat out lying if you don't raise your hand, girl.  Jesus knows.   But as you get older, you'd think more women would be building each other up instead of devouring each other on Facebook, a kid's ball game, OR the beauty salon.  Don't take it personally, it's not about you. In my humble option, it's about them and their own insecurities with their bodies or personal lives.  Just ask them this...

 

                             I'm kidding... but for real.  It's kinda funny and true. 

      You mean girls/bullies...you say you got Jesus?  Where he at?  I don't see him, girl.  We do, however, see you posting caddy Facebook status posts on the daily and posting many rude opinions.  So what if your sister didn't breastfeed?  Did that baby starve?  I didn't think so.  My 4 year old takes a paci?  Whatever.  His teeth are just fine.  Except that one cavity he has and that one thats kinda dead at the rot from where he jumped off the chair and nearly broke it off.  

I'H HERE TODAY TO GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE, GIRLFRIENDS!!!!


       Have you heard T. Swift's new jam?  OOOOOOO...look what you made me do?  "I got a list of names and yours is in red underlined?"  Ok, I'm not saying create a shit list of names and throw darts at it.   Sounds kinda fun, though, right? Just kidding.  Or create voodoo dolls with their hair.  BUT...if you're on FB...create a block list.  
     Don't do it to be mean, but just as an easy way to get rid of negativity in that area.  You don't have to see their posts, and they don't need to see yours. Plain and simple. If you know that someone can't keep your name out of their mouth, then why would you allow them access to your personal page and information?  It's common sense.  It's not mean.  It's not childish.  It's just an easy way to get their nose out of yo business.  
       If I would've blogged about this topic 10 years ago, it would be a completely different post.  I'd say go confront her and tell her to kiss it where the sun don't shine.  But now that I'm quickly approaching the last year in my twenties...my views have changes.  Confrontation rarely gets you anywhere.  It does, however give those mean ones the satisfaction of getting under your skin and upsetting you.  The truth is, they don't deserve your time, or your anger. And if you allow them to cause anger and hurt, in a way, they own you.  If you see them out and about, you may wanna cry (I'm a crier sometimes if my feelings are hurt.) OR...you may wanna grab them by the hair of the head and show them a side of hood they aint seen, and I aint talking about that sweatshirt you're wearing right now either. But the best thing to do is KILL THEM...with kindness.  Smile, show them that regardless of their opinions of you...that they will never get you down.  Show them that you DO have Jesus in your heart, and show them by example.   Remember, that you have a clan of WOMEN behind you cheering you on.  Because that's what real women do...empower one another.   That's why I posted this.  For you to know I am encouraging you if you're struggling.    I myself, am soooo thankful for a an amazing team of family and friends that would be ready to do have my back under any circumstances.  Those are the ones you need to focus on.  Honey, if you do me wrong,  my nana will never, ever like you again.  She might pray for you or smile at you, but make no mistake...she will not like you.  And neither will my aunts.  🤣🤣🤣  Loyalty means everything if you're a woman.  And I'm so thankful I was raised by a strong woman, surrounded by strong women, and taught firsthand how to be just that. Ladies, you need to hang with people who have your back...always.  On your good days, and bad days.  Good friends don't care if you're skinny or if you've gained a few.  They don't care if your hair is clean or dirty.  If you're single or divorced.  They don't judge you if your kids may slip a cuss word here or there, or if your car is a mess, or you have soured milk spilled in the floorboard. They shove all that junk in the front seat over, and hop in with you.   It's because they don't come to judge. They come to accept and love you for who. you. are.  Plain and simple.  
      If you're currently going shopping at a store, or getting your nails or hair did somewhere where they are constantly bashing people, I encourage you to stand up for what you know isn't right, and take your business and wallet elsewhere.  Trust me, I'm ALL about a good laugh.  But not as another woman's expense. Unless...you shit your pants or fall and bust yo butt.  I'll go get you new panties, or call 911, but I'm still gonna giggle, sister.  But, I'm gonna do it to ya face, not ya back.  One time in high school, my friend Heather donated blood, and was about to pass out, and was puking her guts up. I couldn't go get help because I was laughing so hard.  But, in my defense, she knew it was a disease I've had since I was little and I couldn't control it 🤣🤣🤣.  I'll just stop right there with all the stories I could tell about me laughing at inappropriate times.  Y'all that know me personally, know this to be true.  But that's another story, for another day.

      My take on Momprenuers and MLM sisters...
I see those of you fussing constantly about your Facebook friends who do multilevel marketing companies such as Youinique, Lipsense,  Monet, Plunder, Avon, Beach Body, ect.  But the thing is, no one is making you buy it.  And guess what?  You definitely don't have to bash or belittle them on your FB page.  Yes, I know it's pricey.  It could possibly get annoying...I get it.  I know those $25 leggings you bought may have a snag, or that morning milkshake has a funky wang to it.   But when you buy from these ladies, you are helping pay for dance lessons, put groceries in the pantry, or keeping the electric bill paid.  This may help pay for an international adoption to give a child a christian home.  This may help pay for medical bills for their child with cancer.  It's not for everyone.   And I'm telling you, I don't usually have the extra cash flow to spend $50 on lipstick or mascara.  But I still support those mommas who are hustling and making money from home!  You go, girls! You know why?  I'm a small business owner, and sometimes it isn't easy.  But you won't hear me constantly downing my competition.  Why be so grumpy about other mommas trying to provide for their fams?  It's not what women are called to do.  Women are called to EMPOWER and ENCOURAGE.  

         We are raising daughters who want to be just like us....scary thought, I know.  They watch every move we make and take in every word we speak.  I know I fail daily when I raise my voice, or let a cuss word slip, or if I let her overhear me talking about my flaws or my ugly stretch marks.  I want my girls to know that God made them in his image.  And no one should ever make them feel less than they are.  I want them to know that they are kind, they are beautiful, they are grace.  I want my girls to know that beauty goes way beyond appearance, and that they should guard their hearts and always keep them pure.  I want them to know their worth, and never question it.  I want them to know, that no matter how many bullies they may face in their lives, that they should always hold to those truths  and to the truths that God has written for them.  

      You see, we hear so much on the news about bullies, but bullies aren't always just in the hallways at school. Someone once asked me, "Why don't you speak to yourself as if you were speaking to your own daughter..."

  That hit a chord with me and was a game changer.  The tears began to fall as soon as I heard those words.  Mommas, sometimes the bully isn't just the mean girl in your town or at your kid's school.  She isn't the lady at the market that might look down on you, or the fit woman judging you at the gym.  Sometimes, the bully is you, with your own self.  Don't beat yourself up.    If you are reading this, think about your daughter, or future child...ask yourself, what would her words be if you are her influence?  Would her words be kind? Would they be uplifting or encouraging?  Would they reflect love?  The fact is, no woman leads a perfect life.  Sister, we all got problems.  That's just life.  But, I'll never understand why some women find happiness from kicking other women on the ground.  If this person is you, it's not too late to change your ways.   If you are the person that has been affected by these type women, stay calm and call your mom.  I'm kidding.  But that's what I always do.  She always gives the best advice and encourages me to let it roll off my back and keep smiling.  Then she is ready to whoop ass so I don't have to...  So, you know, it's a win/win situation.  I'm kidding, y'all.  But you feel me?  Raise your hand if you are a momma bear or if you have a momma bear as a mother?!? 🤣🤣🤣  If you do consider yourself lucky!  It's an instinct to protect your babies, that's for sure!  Something I've learned to be true is this...

Ladies, don't be ever let yourself a victim.  But instead, be victorious.  Live your life and think on those things that are good, noble, and right.  Read proverbs, say a prayer.  Don't feed into drama or respond to it.  Surround yourself with REAL women.  Those that truly care for you and those that don't find joy in gossip, lies, or  in another momma's problems.  Keep your head high ALWAYS.  Don't ever let anyone dull your shine...ever.  

And I'll leave you with my favorite Mean Girls quote...

I wish we could all eat a cake full of rainbows and smiles, and everyone eat a piece and be happy.

Today...CHOOSE HAPPY.  CHOOSE POSTIVITY.  Be the WOMAN, you want your daughters to look up to.  And go give another woman a compliment.  She might need it today.

Here's to STRONG WOMEN...

MAY WE KNOW THEM...

MAY WE BE THEM...

MAY WE RAISE THEM.

Ladies, I wrote this months ago and just decided to share it today.  It was written for those who may be struggling and I hope it helps encourage you today!  Thanks for always reading and sharing!  Mommy post about my crazy kids coming next week!  

Surviving Little Boys...

      Every morning after sending H and P off to school, I got about 7.3 seconds to brew my coffee and hit my knees in prayer.  I aint playin, y'all.  I gotta pray for God's grace, love, and patience to wash over me and his divine protection around the doors and windows of this home.  It's not for the ghostly spirits in the basement here lately, it's for the boys.  I got time to say a quick little prayer before they hear their daddy's car pull out, and their stubby little toes hit the flo wide open. I swear, I think they dream about ways to find the main beams of my home and break them down, one by one.  They immediately melt me with their hugs, but then start pushing furniture against the countertops, to start attempting to climb them looking for food with lots of processed sugar and hydrogenated oils.  Then it begins, operation- keep- them- alive.   They see no fear and no boundaries in heights, sharp objects, or tiny little things that can fit in your mouth.   Poor Cozi's favorite phrase is, "STTTTOOP, BOYYYYYS!"  My oldest boy is 7, and he's not as wild as the younger dynamic duo (2 and 3).  But he does like to fly through the house wide open while pushing a cozy coupe (containing one of my children).  You see, this aint my first rodeo, since I'm a momma of 5.  There's a thing or two I've learned about boys...

1.  They can be pretty gross...

Yesterday, I found Dax talking sweetly to his baby brother and I knew something was up.   "Here, Cubby, just drink it, it's gooood.  It's yummy, Cubby.  Daxie made it for you."  I run to the living room to see him holding a clear bottle with yellow liquid at the bottom.  I think fast.  "Did I buy Lemonade at Sam's last week?  No...Is that orange juice?  How could he pour it into that bottle so neatly?"  But, then I realize the truth when I see Cozi mimicking what he did in the corner.  He had peed in the bottle, and was gently persuading his little bro to have a swig.  It wasn't completely surprising and definitely wasn't the first time he's took a leak in the Sam's water bottle.  He finds it amusing.  But thank the good Lord, Cubbie did NOT drink it. Yesterday, I also found an opened loaf of bread laying next to the toilet.  I know, it's completely disgusting.  No wonder my other child had MRSA last week. KIDDING I threw it away immediately, I promise.  Speaking of toilets, my boys obviously can't aim to save their lives.  No matter how much bleach and spray cleaner I use, our bathrooms still always seem to smell like pee!  Momma's of boys...you feel me, sisters?   But not only do they pee on the walls behind the toilet, their pee on every tree and every patch of grass in the Southwest.  Another thing...I swear, I can get them all dressed, and gel their hair, and they are dirty 3 seconds later.  If there is something they can get into that has a speck of dirt, they find it.  They come in from outside smelling like wet puppy dog, errreytime.  Dirt mounds at the ball park is their fave!  I might as well invent a scentsy bar in the flavor of ammonia and keep it plugged in day and night.  Hudson's little nose is dirty everytime he goes  outside, don't know how, but it always ends up that way.  And the younger ones...they're camoflaughed in dirt and grime.


2. They BREAK shit

Let me just list the items that were broken at my house:  A picture frame, 2 babydoll strollers (from racing them demo derby style), a new 6 pack box of flood light bulbs, a nerf gun, and my personal fave...MY MACBOOK.  You know how at Greek weddings, they throw plates and shatter them to the ground?  I feel like I was attending and celebrating a greek unity in my basement at home last week.  I heard them quiet for a few minutes, which was nice, but is never...EVER a good thing.  I went down stairs and see them running in a circle, and before I could do anything about it they each busted 3 
light bulbs on the tile and started screaming and clapping, and jumping up and down.  I think I may have cried that day, because it happened to be the same one that Cubbie shattered my Macbook screen, which is costing $500 to replace.  Ever saw those sour patch commercials, where they cut someone's hair and then give them a hug so they can't stay mad?  That's my life.  I sent Cody a text the read, "I give up ever trying to clean, I have to put all my effort into keeping them alive.  Is it normal for our kids to act like they're on crack?"  My hubby's the best and always encourages me and tells me I'm doing a good job, even when I am sure I'm not.  Also las week, a trim guy came to measure last week and asked if I took medication because among all the chaos and wild kiddos running around, "I seemed chill."  Naw, momma aint stoned, I'm just totally and completely used to it. Call it patience, call it the peace of God, call it dazed...whatever.  Thankfully, I'm chill most of the time.  If not you'd be talking me off the ledge on the daily.  I do know one thing, I can NEVER...EVER try and give up caffeine again. 


3.  They are FUNNY...
I am not lying when I say I could write for 3 straight days about how funny my boys are.  I seriously don't know how Dax comes up with things he does at the ripe age at 3.  Sometimes, pretty much daily I question my parenting after he rambles these things off to me...but I ALWAYS laugh,  I know that may not ethical when he says dirty words, or tells me he wants "peanut butter jelly and my NUUUTSSS, for lunch... but trust me, you'd laugh too.  I literally cried to Cody a couple weeks ago and said I felt like I was failing as a mother, and I will never ever be that Proverbs 31 mother and wife that I so desperately long to be.  I got a good heart, and I try.  But I do have a mouth sometimes, and so does my 3 year old.  Everyone says Dax is the funniest kid they know, and it aint just bc he's mine, it's the truth.  My mom calls every day and says, "What has Dax done today?"  I have a different story for him daily.  After pulling a tick off of his boy area last week in the bath, he proceeded to tell us at dinner that he wanted to be a nut sac for Halloween...and he wanted his dad to be the tick.  I have a pretty good feeling we may not get the good candy if we allowed that costume, so we will prolly just stick to Trolls this year like we've planned.  Ofcourse his big brother loves to take him to the crowd of friends and they all have Dax repeat what his last name is...don't ask.  They loves having him tell them funny stories and laugh hysterically.  Y'all, his best friends are all between the ages of 8-16 year olds.  Dax is the life of the party, that's for sure.  Hoping we can tame it by his teenage years.  I love to threaten, "I'm getting the spoon!"  He says, "No, not the spoon!"  Funny thing is, I don't even own one...yet. 😏😅  He ran to the sideline at his football game the other day, to get 13 sucks off his little bro's paci.  I know, I know...he's almost 4.  But you choose your battles.  I hate seeing judgy posts from moms that have it all figured out.  Where's that middle finger emoji when you need it? Just kidding...but really.

4. They Play ROUGH...
Their favorite past time is jumping off the couches and getting each other in a headlock. If you're lying in the floor, you're fair game.  Don't cry if you get jumped on.  I had go take my oldest daughter for an X-ray after her brother and his buddy jumped off the mattress, onto her foot. It's a million wonders and 5 guardian angels, for the reason they haven't been seriously injured, I mean it.   They also enjoy going to the ballpark at ball games, and wrestling with their buddies in the middle of the grass where people are trying to enjoy the game.  Bath time at our house end up with bloody noses, bruises on knees from jumping, dozens of wet towels...and leaky ceiling tiles in our basement from all the water....no lie.  My sweet precious Nana came to stay with them for a couple hours yesterday, and my only verbal instructions were, "Just don't let them climb outside and fall off the deck."  An older lady last week asked my friend at the ballpark if she knew who the child belonged to, that was scaling the dirt cliff at Fred Hale.  Yep, he's mine.  He's a survivor.  And if you only knew his freakish balance and instincts, you would understand why I'm taking my chances with that hill.  Better than him running in the parking lot...

4.  They are ALWAYS HUNGRY...
I complained to Cody the other day about always fixing meals and snacks around the clock.  I mean, seriously...alllll the time.  I can't get them full, they always wanna eat.  I was discussing it with my aunt, who is equally hilarious.  She said she was gonna get a shirt made that said "Snack Bit$ch" and wear it every day of her life, because that's pretty much her role in life.  My refrigerator opens every 5 minutes when they're all at home.  They ALWAYS. WANNA. SNACK.  I can't imagine what it's gonna be like when they hit puberty and teenage growth spurts...we will both have to take a second job.  Hopefully, I'll have a book deal by then, to help with the grocery bill 😜. 

5.  NUDITY is a Way of Life...
And you must accept it.  I'm become very used to naked butts running around my house and out in the yard. It aint nothin but a thang. If you ever stop by my address during the months of January-December summer, you'll often see clothing piles at random places. Jump on the trampoline?  Let's strip.  Going swimming?  Get naked.  See the mail man?  Ditch the clothing.  
  

6.  They LOVE their Momma's...
I never quite understood the term momma bear, til I laid eyes on my first borns.  Mess with my mine, and you will see a side of me that aint pretty.  All my boys, are momma's boys.  They make me melt like a popsicle when they wrap their little arms around my neck.  I love all my babies, my 2 girls and my 3 boys.  They ALL want me at bedtime, and though I'm exhausted at that point, I never turn down snuggles.  I know one say they'll be going out on dates and be too busy with phone calls to their girl friends.  But for now, I am the most important woman in their life.  It's our jobs to let them make messes, wrestle in the floor, make endless forts, and know that dirt won't hurt a thing...and to teach them to be good men. They may be meaner than rattle snakes, but I love that every time the sun begins to set, Hudson will run to get me so we can see how pretty the colors are. And how he notices the sparkle in my eyeshadow...and every single time they hear a helicopter, they grab their daddy and run outside to see it and watch it go over. They will be grown in the blink of an eye... so for now...I'll enjoy the moment and let them be little boys.

What have you learned about raising boys?  Please no negative comments about my parenting...you do you...and I'll keep doing me.  I LOVE all my sweet followers and hope to make my blog a big deal one day, it's kind of my dream. 😅

Post next week will be about Raising Girls and then Mompreneurs!  Please subscribe to my blog and SHARE with your friends!

Much love,

Andi xoxo

Why I'm NOT a cart returner...

     So...about a month ago, I saw a post going around my newsfeed about how awesome a person you were if you returned your cart at the store.  I gave an eye roll and kept scrolling.  Yada, yada, yada.  I call bull.  Because I'll be honest and real, y'all...I typically don't return mine either (unless the hateful lady at food lion is watching, I'm a little scared of her).  Sometimes it's because I'm scared of someone calling me in for leaving my kids alone in the car, while I run that buggy back to it's homeplace.  Or because I have something epic to do (like put my child on her potty seat before she pees her pants).  Or I might be losing my sh#t, because my kid screamed all during checkout and I really need a coffee or a cig. I'm kidding, mom   But, most of the time it's for her.  I know you've seen her.  I may pass her on the street,  you may know her from church, or maybe you are her.  So here's to you momma...

For the momma at Sam's Club, praising Jesus for their big carts to fit her wild tots in.  I leave it for her.   The one that is on her 5th day of dry shampoo and knows how to rock a CC beanie like no one else.  Who hopes she won't bump into anyone she knows because she hasn't had time to apply makeup.  Because they may not recognize her because she hasn't slept much since 2010.  AND unless your name is MAC or you're a snapchat filter, you can't hide those dark circles.  Whether that baby be 8 months or 8 years, she still rocks them and comforts every bad dream.  She lays awake at night when the house is quiet and worries about the bills, food allergies, and that bully at school.  She's secretly plotting how to put that kid in it's place.  (Perhaps at the next halloween party)

To the working momma who is trying to multitask and still keep it all together.  But loses her keys, her bra, and her mind daily.  She only has half an hour for lunch, so she jams out to nineties at noon and promised to pick up craft supplies to volunteer at her kid's school.  She is fueled by coffee runs, mom guilt, and the treadmill if she has the time.  She regrets signing up for the duty of room mom, but thought she could handle another task if it was for her child...  

To the momma roaming aimlessly through the aisles of Target, trying to find herself...but only leaves with diapers and butt paste, never anything for herself.  She appreciated the stranded buggy, because she didn't wanna carry her 2 tots in the rain to get one.  She is rocking the black yoga pants, because no matter how hard she tries, those cute jeans never seem to fit right anymore.  And if she sees one more workout video or post about water, she's gonna blow her fuse.   I see her trying to juggle the monthly budget and still buy the leotard her little girl has been eyeing for weeks.  She may look like the product of a 3 day binger, but the last party she attended, included mickey and minnie mouse.  Momma's just worn out.

To the momma running into Lifeway for a new devotional to get her through this phase she's in.  She prays for wisdom and grace with the whole parenting thing, and her tad bit of a potty mouth.  And her kid with the potty mouth ✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋.  And wonders how to get her kid to stop saying that his last name is asshole, to anyone that asks in friendly conversation.   She prays about how to talk to her daughter about self worth and humility in a world full of selfies and crop tops. And she's trying to learn how to cut herself a little slack when it comes to the tough stuff.

To the baseball momma who's running in Kroger to quickly for goldfish, because it's her turn for snacks again. Can't forget shout spray for those dirty grass stains from last weeks game.  She wonders how she's ever gonna conquer that laundry pile that awaits her, and the dinner that has to be served by that ball game at 6.  By the way, where are those stinkin blue ball socks?!?   And hopes her boy hits a homerun tonight and believes in himself , and knows she's his biggest fan.  

  The momma at Hobby Lobby dreaming of decorating that porch for fall, but will be happy to settle for a couple pumpkins, a few empty slushy cups, and pairs of tiny tennis shoes by the door. She's also wondering WTH they make their buggies so small?  I mean, how do they expect us to put our kids in there and buy things?

AND FINALLY... 

  To The momma at Chic Fil A, whose kid got massive diarrhea, while venturing down the slide at the play land.  It wasn't brought to her attention until  the 7 year old was covered in sh*t.  After she and her humiliated hubs  tried to warn the other kids that weren't hers, none would listen or obey the stern warnings!  So she made a run for it, like she stole 500 chicken sandwiches.  All with her red faced hubby and kids in tow  and gave a courteous call about sanitation from the road. All while laughing hysterically like a grade school girl.  Anyone know her?  I don't...

 You see, I always appreciate those lonely buggies in the parking lots, because I always have my brood with me, and if I'm alone...that lonely cart serves as a little sweet gesture to help me accomplish my shopping a little easier.  We all push a different cart, that no one knows about, and God made no momma the same...but we're all in this momma hood together.  The happy ones and the sad ones.  The friendly ones and the shy ones.  From the bottom to the top...one crazy momma to the other.  From the sweet ones, to the mean ones.  And if you're one of the mean ones, I wish your Mondays to be long and coffee to be cold...and those stray legos in the hallway to be sharp 👊 But for real ladies... just keep on pushing, even on the days you're winded!   And if you just happen to leave that cart stranded sometimes, just think of her that's like you... and don't feel so bad.   

Much love to all my friends and followers!  The next post will include LOTS of funny Dax stories along with many of my other wild munchkins.  SHARE if you can relate.  Gotta build a following for that dream one day...

The Summer of Momma Truths...

      Hey friends! Goodness, I have missed you and blogging!  It's so hard to sit down and catch up sometimes on our busy life!  This past year has been an absolute whirlwind!  Those who are closest to us can laugh and think on some of the humorous, experiences we've had along with it.  But I'm so blessed to be a good kinda busy with the crazy kiddos and the hubby.  Thank GOD for teachers being off in the summer and my man can enjoy and help mange all the shenanigans these kiddos get us into daily.  I've decided to play "truth is" about summer break with kiddos.  I think yall will have to agree with most of my opinions.  I can't believe it is almost July!  After July, comes August and I'm not ready for that again!  Who likes schedules and being without my biggest babes all day?  Not this momma!  For now we are gonna soak up this summer and enjoy it the best we can!  I go from not being able to love them anymore, to being ready to squeeze the cuteness off their cheeks.  Know what I mean?  You know how I roll, randomness...everywhere! 

      One of my fave quotes comes from Jerry Seinfield, “A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”   But the thing is, This is our life yall, especially in the summer😆.  I'd like to think we keep it fun, laid back, with a lotta chaos, and a little structure in there somewhere.

Truth is:  They're always hungry...Like always.  As soon as I clean up a meal, they wanna know what's for lunch or snack.  And if they eat a late breakfast and skip lunch, you will not live it down.  Paislee keeps a record of her daily meals. and though she eats like bird, if you even think about jipping her one, she will make you sorry you did.  Seriously, we buy out Sam's club snacks in bulk and boom, they're gone in 2 days.  My kids would live on snacks alone.  I blame it on their grandparents.   Ninny and Grams live off giving them junk food, I swear.  They love it, but then act stressed out when it makes them crazy.  Ninny goes to the store and gets errrebody, their momma, and their 3rd cousin a pack of gum or candy.  She smuggles junk food like nobody's business, and Grams stores fudge rounds in the oven, I'm kidding (but really, she does).  Ninny has every cabinet and corner packed full of the goods. Sugar, hydrogenated oils, chemicals, gluten, you name it. If you need junk smuggled into Alcatraz,  call Ninny, she'd your girl.  She will find you, and she will hype you up on sugar.  and...Thank God for auntie Christie at all the ball games, I tell her she has a magic bag like Barney that she pulls all kinds of goodies out of...it's like an endless supply.  Nothing momma packs is ever good enough for them.  She also carries enough bandaids to patch up an army troop,  They're all little bottomless pits who love to eat and be spoiled 😂.

Truth is:  Everything is sticky.  My couch, all 50 of my kiddos fingers, the girl's ponytails, Cub's mouth, Hudson and Dax's clothes.  The floorboard of my car.  A patch of my armhair.  What is this?  Gum?  Cornstarch?  I mean, where does all this stickiness come from? Whatever you do, don't lick it.  I learned my lesson at the drive in a few weeks ago.  Cozi did not have sticky chocolate on her belly. Today Cody got on his hands and knees to scrub the kitchen floors and guess what happened?  (By the way, He's so sexy when he's scrubbing floors 😙)   Paislee fixed a bowl of dog food, Cozi spilled her chocolate milk, And Cub spilled half a bottle of grape coke...and I still have no clue where it even came from.  Within the hour, lucky charms, cheerios, shopkins, and more sticky shit accumulated again.  We cleaned it back up and tonight, guess who was shoveling handfuls of nesquick powder in their mouths?  Dax and Cub.  Dax used to hate having a little brother, but now he knows he can accomplish more shennanigans if they tag team and work together.  He also thinks it's hilarious to teach Cub phrases that he knows will get him in trouble.  Phrases that I'll hold off on typing my first blog back.   Everyone loves Dax, there is just something about him.  He steals people's hearts with his mischevious smile and potty mouth.  Last week someone asked him his name at the pool and he responded, "Dax Grayton Henry Asshole."  Mic Drop.  Boom.  Yeah, I mean, you know.....what do I say to that?  How do I even defend my parenting at this point?   He completely left Harper off and said his name in the wrong order.  My aunt told me the other day we must cuss like sailors for them to have the mouths they do. But we really don't, yall.  We do slip up some....and I say shit, but alike my memmy always said...that's "not really" a cuss word.  But they've clung to a couple not so great words and use them accordingly.  Hudson has spit bubbles out his mouth twice this week from getting in trouble for saying an ugly word. We have to have a come to Jesus meeting every Sunday on the way to Sunday School (we do take them, I promise) about talking nice and not saying ugly words. He's kinda like his momma, and his filter doesn't work too well.  But he's 3, pretty cute and gets away with more than he should 😆. But, he says he loves you more than 13 cannonballs and past the moon too, and you forget the dirty words and kneel down for a hug.  And if you don't, well ya aint no friend of mine.

Truth is:  Questions never stop.  Some days I feel like I'm on trial.  Some days I feel like they think I was sitting next to God, the father on the day he created the universe.  "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, heyyyy, mommy."  Mommy, do you have $103 for a mermaid tail.  I'll give it to you.  I'll get it out of your wallet and give it to you to buy me one."  

          Say Mermaid tail, ONE, MORE, TIME. 
"Mommy, what do you do when underwear gets really stuck in your butt?"  "Where do animals go when they die?"  "What if you ever die, Mommy"  "Is the tooth fairy real?"  ..."Are you sure?  Because sometimes she's late."  Then there are days when I question myself even more than their little innocent ponders.  "Did I play with them enough?"  "Do they like having a big family?"  "Will they need therapy when they're adults?"  "Do they know how deeply we love them?"  Do we tell them enough bible stories"?"  "Am I too hard on them, am I patient enough?" "Am a good enough christian momma/wife?"  "Do they know how hard I try?"  "Do they know I'm one crying fit away from the nuthouse 👏?"

Truth is:  The lifeguards hate us.  Especially this one little guy.  He takes his job pretty serious and He hates to see us coming. I mean hates it.  I see the look of dread in his eye every. single. time.  I guess it's hazardous having 5 kids vs. 2 adult parents ratio.  He's annoyed as soon as its his turn to stand at our area.  So what if they go down the slide upside down.  A little water up the nose never hurt a kid.  Oh, he's kicking his brother in the face?  It's called character building.  Disreguard that.  We don't allow one another to hit, we usually sit down calmly and express our feelings by gently hugging it out.  Pshhhh, hehehe.  I wish it worked out as peacefully as that.  I made the kids wear a giant 2x Christmas shirt last week that said, "Chill Out."  And threatened to put their screaming fit on youtube if it didn't stop. I'm pretty sure the mom with the only child hates us too.  Or maybe it's because Cub may or may not have pushed her kid while in line at the froggie slide 😏 ...not sure.  Or because they are loud and fun and like to splash.   People ask us all the time how we do so much and go places with 5 kids.  Back off, Hitler.  Fuss at my kids one more time, and I'll take you for a swim. 😂  Yall know I'm kiddin.  I'd be on guard too, if I saw 5 wild kids at my section rough housing in the water.  People ask us all the time how we do so much and go places with 5 kids.  Well, folks...it's not a death sentence.  And truth is,  if we keep them at home, they break things, injure eachother and destoy the house if we don't keep them busy.  We like keeping them busy and letting them have a fun summer with activities even if it means out sanity sometimes.  Hudson is kinda a spaz like his momma and has a intense fear of the kids getting run over, or kidnapped, or falling from a high place.  Yall momma bears out there know exactly what I mean.  The other day at his ball game, he was screaming at me from the dugout to watch the babies better!  He yelled "Get over there and watch the babies!  They're gonna get run over!"  It makes you feel pretty insecure when your 7 year old keeps you in check.  You know you better get with the program.   My anxiety has been pretty out the roof at times since the twinsies have become toddlers.  I'm constantly screaming their names frantically if I can't find them.  I felt especially dumb the other day when I was panciking over losing Cozi, all while she was strapped to my back in the tula.  Mommin makes ya crazy.  Can I get an amen?


     The truth is, I just can't catch up...like ever.  If you look up Hot Mess in the urban dictionary, there I'll be.  I try, but it gets me no where.  If it's not the house then it's the messy car.  But my momma didn't raise a liar...so I'll tell ya.  It's usually both...well pretty much always both.  I'm behind on all the things, yall.  All of em.  It it's a thing, I'm late.  I'll get to it, it'll get done.  But probably in the witcing hour.  Procrastination is my spirit animal. Is that a thing?  Anyways, you know what I'm saying.  That laundry pile grows overnight and spreads like a bad case of poison ivy.  One thing about summer break with 5 kiddos, is that there is never really downtime.  Because I'll be honest, my kids all act like they're on uppers.  Except for my oldest daughter.  Her favorite past time is googling expensive mermaid tails and watching youtube videos of other little girls playing with their barbies.  All while pouring her own drinks and spilling it everytime on her trek to her bedroom.  Love my little diva and her songs she loves to write.  We busy...all the time.  Ball Practice, swim lessons, playing in the water slide, sandbox, cleaning up messes.   Around this house, Summertime comes swimming pools, waterslides, wet hair, Pelican Snowballs, late suppers, movies, screaming and chasing my kids out of the driveway, washing mouths out with soap, breaking up fights, catching lightning bugs, nights at the drive in, going batshit crazy.   You know!  All the fun stuff! We try chores too and they do good sometimes.  But that's about a reliable as my phone battery and ability to text people back.  One of my favorite things is watering my flowers in the mornings on my porch while having my morning coffee.  But I wish I could refrain from smelling urine right off my steps.  We have tried everything to get Dax to stop peeing off the porch, but we still have no luck.  He says, "I'm watering flowers, mommy!" As far as clothes go, well, they're usually in the yard or floating in the kiddie pool, along with the Spiderman underwear.  Anyone that's close to us, knows that's just how he rolls.  We try, but that's all we can do folks...he has a brilliant little mind of his own.  😂 Dax ran over to the neighbors a couple weeks ago (while they were in the process of a home visit with their social worker about their sweet girls they're adopting.  He beat on the door, completely naked, screamed he was starving, and pleaded for a cheeseburger.  )Thank God I wasn't far behind him to return him back to our yard.  The next week, he thought he'd be sneaky and go to their back deck and knock to ask for chicken nuggets.   She took a pic and texted it to me.  Good thing he's cute.

Yall know I have so many stories on that kid, I could write a book on him alone.  Cozi is nuts over him and has recently been picking out clothes for him and chasing him down to try and force them on him. 😂  

Truth is:  We're all losing it.  I once read via Fb post..."We're all losing our shit, some just hide it better than others."  Sometimes, all we can do is try our best and just roll with the craziness.  We gotta be honest with eachother, but most of all ourselves.  It's totally ok to "not have it all together."  If you're ever being too hard on yourself, come see me.  I'm definetely no June Cleaver or Michelle Duggar (God love her).  I don't really know what I am, but it's definitely not those two.   If you have any comparisons let me know.  Take a breather, give yourself some slack.  Sometimes, we set ourselves up with expectations we can never realistically meet.  God created us all for a divine purpose, and motherhood will be one of our greatest testimonies.  We gotta always remember that"If you want to change the world, go home and love your family."  

Truth is:  It goes too fast.  Ever heard that phrase "The days are long, but the years are short?  I've found this to be more true with each year that passes.  How is it possible that I have 2 kiddos that are going into second grade.  That reminds me we should probably be reading more 😏 .  I'll set an alarm on my phone to do that next week.  Cody and I make a pretty good team.  Mostly, because we mutually love these little monkies more than anything, and more importantly, because we love eachother.  I am beyond thankful for a helpful husband who tackles these summer days with me.  I can honestly say, I loFor now, I'm cherishing the time that my babies actually want me and need me.  Even if it's sometimes overwhelming and tiring, I'm soaking it up.   I know one day, they will wanna stay gone with friends and I won't be so cool anymore to them.  Whatever, I'll always be cool.  You should see us hit the quan in the kitchen.  

Anywho,  thanks for following along with our craziness and my random rubbish.  Share if you'd like.  I'll be back real soon.  There are too many stories to tell!  Much love to all! 

-Andi