How to Handle Mean Girls...

      I couldn't officially decide whether to Blog about Mean Momma's, Mompreneurs, or Raising Daughters.  SO Im gonna kinda combine the 3 topics.  So here's my random mess of #unfiltered thoughts.

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      You think once you graduate high school you escape Regina George (Mean Girls)  and her clan.  Well, if you have a vagina, then, well... you're pretty much wrong.  No matter how much you tend to your own business or try to be kind,  trust me she'll still be there.  Whether it is some mean woman at your work, or momma that lives in the neighborhood watching you jog.   Mean mommas don't wanna see you happy or successful.  I guess it's an insecurity or (an a-hole) or jealousy issue . If she's not a bully in the real world, then she's definitely on social media platforms.  I think at some point in our lives we've all spoke negatively about another woman.  Regretfully, I know I've been a mean girl before in the past.  You are flat out lying if you don't raise your hand, girl.  Jesus knows.   But as you get older, you'd think more women would be building each other up instead of devouring each other on Facebook, a kid's ball game, OR the beauty salon.  Don't take it personally, it's not about you. In my humble option, it's about them and their own insecurities with their bodies or personal lives.  Just ask them this...

 

                             I'm kidding... but for real.  It's kinda funny and true. 

      You mean girls/bullies...you say you got Jesus?  Where he at?  I don't see him, girl.  We do, however, see you posting caddy Facebook status posts on the daily and posting many rude opinions.  So what if your sister didn't breastfeed?  Did that baby starve?  I didn't think so.  My 4 year old takes a paci?  Whatever.  His teeth are just fine.  Except that one cavity he has and that one thats kinda dead at the rot from where he jumped off the chair and nearly broke it off.  

I'H HERE TODAY TO GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE, GIRLFRIENDS!!!!


       Have you heard T. Swift's new jam?  OOOOOOO...look what you made me do?  "I got a list of names and yours is in red underlined?"  Ok, I'm not saying create a shit list of names and throw darts at it.   Sounds kinda fun, though, right? Just kidding.  Or create voodoo dolls with their hair.  BUT...if you're on FB...create a block list.  
     Don't do it to be mean, but just as an easy way to get rid of negativity in that area.  You don't have to see their posts, and they don't need to see yours. Plain and simple. If you know that someone can't keep your name out of their mouth, then why would you allow them access to your personal page and information?  It's common sense.  It's not mean.  It's not childish.  It's just an easy way to get their nose out of yo business.  
       If I would've blogged about this topic 10 years ago, it would be a completely different post.  I'd say go confront her and tell her to kiss it where the sun don't shine.  But now that I'm quickly approaching the last year in my twenties...my views have changes.  Confrontation rarely gets you anywhere.  It does, however give those mean ones the satisfaction of getting under your skin and upsetting you.  The truth is, they don't deserve your time, or your anger. And if you allow them to cause anger and hurt, in a way, they own you.  If you see them out and about, you may wanna cry (I'm a crier sometimes if my feelings are hurt.) OR...you may wanna grab them by the hair of the head and show them a side of hood they aint seen, and I aint talking about that sweatshirt you're wearing right now either. But the best thing to do is KILL THEM...with kindness.  Smile, show them that regardless of their opinions of you...that they will never get you down.  Show them that you DO have Jesus in your heart, and show them by example.   Remember, that you have a clan of WOMEN behind you cheering you on.  Because that's what real women do...empower one another.   That's why I posted this.  For you to know I am encouraging you if you're struggling.    I myself, am soooo thankful for a an amazing team of family and friends that would be ready to do have my back under any circumstances.  Those are the ones you need to focus on.  Honey, if you do me wrong,  my nana will never, ever like you again.  She might pray for you or smile at you, but make no mistake...she will not like you.  And neither will my aunts.  🤣🤣🤣  Loyalty means everything if you're a woman.  And I'm so thankful I was raised by a strong woman, surrounded by strong women, and taught firsthand how to be just that. Ladies, you need to hang with people who have your back...always.  On your good days, and bad days.  Good friends don't care if you're skinny or if you've gained a few.  They don't care if your hair is clean or dirty.  If you're single or divorced.  They don't judge you if your kids may slip a cuss word here or there, or if your car is a mess, or you have soured milk spilled in the floorboard. They shove all that junk in the front seat over, and hop in with you.   It's because they don't come to judge. They come to accept and love you for who. you. are.  Plain and simple.  
      If you're currently going shopping at a store, or getting your nails or hair did somewhere where they are constantly bashing people, I encourage you to stand up for what you know isn't right, and take your business and wallet elsewhere.  Trust me, I'm ALL about a good laugh.  But not as another woman's expense. Unless...you shit your pants or fall and bust yo butt.  I'll go get you new panties, or call 911, but I'm still gonna giggle, sister.  But, I'm gonna do it to ya face, not ya back.  One time in high school, my friend Heather donated blood, and was about to pass out, and was puking her guts up. I couldn't go get help because I was laughing so hard.  But, in my defense, she knew it was a disease I've had since I was little and I couldn't control it 🤣🤣🤣.  I'll just stop right there with all the stories I could tell about me laughing at inappropriate times.  Y'all that know me personally, know this to be true.  But that's another story, for another day.

      My take on Momprenuers and MLM sisters...
I see those of you fussing constantly about your Facebook friends who do multilevel marketing companies such as Youinique, Lipsense,  Monet, Plunder, Avon, Beach Body, ect.  But the thing is, no one is making you buy it.  And guess what?  You definitely don't have to bash or belittle them on your FB page.  Yes, I know it's pricey.  It could possibly get annoying...I get it.  I know those $25 leggings you bought may have a snag, or that morning milkshake has a funky wang to it.   But when you buy from these ladies, you are helping pay for dance lessons, put groceries in the pantry, or keeping the electric bill paid.  This may help pay for an international adoption to give a child a christian home.  This may help pay for medical bills for their child with cancer.  It's not for everyone.   And I'm telling you, I don't usually have the extra cash flow to spend $50 on lipstick or mascara.  But I still support those mommas who are hustling and making money from home!  You go, girls! You know why?  I'm a small business owner, and sometimes it isn't easy.  But you won't hear me constantly downing my competition.  Why be so grumpy about other mommas trying to provide for their fams?  It's not what women are called to do.  Women are called to EMPOWER and ENCOURAGE.  

         We are raising daughters who want to be just like us....scary thought, I know.  They watch every move we make and take in every word we speak.  I know I fail daily when I raise my voice, or let a cuss word slip, or if I let her overhear me talking about my flaws or my ugly stretch marks.  I want my girls to know that God made them in his image.  And no one should ever make them feel less than they are.  I want them to know that they are kind, they are beautiful, they are grace.  I want my girls to know that beauty goes way beyond appearance, and that they should guard their hearts and always keep them pure.  I want them to know their worth, and never question it.  I want them to know, that no matter how many bullies they may face in their lives, that they should always hold to those truths  and to the truths that God has written for them.  

      You see, we hear so much on the news about bullies, but bullies aren't always just in the hallways at school. Someone once asked me, "Why don't you speak to yourself as if you were speaking to your own daughter..."

  That hit a chord with me and was a game changer.  The tears began to fall as soon as I heard those words.  Mommas, sometimes the bully isn't just the mean girl in your town or at your kid's school.  She isn't the lady at the market that might look down on you, or the fit woman judging you at the gym.  Sometimes, the bully is you, with your own self.  Don't beat yourself up.    If you are reading this, think about your daughter, or future child...ask yourself, what would her words be if you are her influence?  Would her words be kind? Would they be uplifting or encouraging?  Would they reflect love?  The fact is, no woman leads a perfect life.  Sister, we all got problems.  That's just life.  But, I'll never understand why some women find happiness from kicking other women on the ground.  If this person is you, it's not too late to change your ways.   If you are the person that has been affected by these type women, stay calm and call your mom.  I'm kidding.  But that's what I always do.  She always gives the best advice and encourages me to let it roll off my back and keep smiling.  Then she is ready to whoop ass so I don't have to...  So, you know, it's a win/win situation.  I'm kidding, y'all.  But you feel me?  Raise your hand if you are a momma bear or if you have a momma bear as a mother?!? 🤣🤣🤣  If you do consider yourself lucky!  It's an instinct to protect your babies, that's for sure!  Something I've learned to be true is this...

Ladies, don't be ever let yourself a victim.  But instead, be victorious.  Live your life and think on those things that are good, noble, and right.  Read proverbs, say a prayer.  Don't feed into drama or respond to it.  Surround yourself with REAL women.  Those that truly care for you and those that don't find joy in gossip, lies, or  in another momma's problems.  Keep your head high ALWAYS.  Don't ever let anyone dull your shine...ever.  

And I'll leave you with my favorite Mean Girls quote...

I wish we could all eat a cake full of rainbows and smiles, and everyone eat a piece and be happy.

Today...CHOOSE HAPPY.  CHOOSE POSTIVITY.  Be the WOMAN, you want your daughters to look up to.  And go give another woman a compliment.  She might need it today.

Here's to STRONG WOMEN...

MAY WE KNOW THEM...

MAY WE BE THEM...

MAY WE RAISE THEM.

Ladies, I wrote this months ago and just decided to share it today.  It was written for those who may be struggling and I hope it helps encourage you today!  Thanks for always reading and sharing!  Mommy post about my crazy kids coming next week!  

Surviving Little Boys...

      Every morning after sending H and P off to school, I got about 7.3 seconds to brew my coffee and hit my knees in prayer.  I aint playin, y'all.  I gotta pray for God's grace, love, and patience to wash over me and his divine protection around the doors and windows of this home.  It's not for the ghostly spirits in the basement here lately, it's for the boys.  I got time to say a quick little prayer before they hear their daddy's car pull out, and their stubby little toes hit the flo wide open. I swear, I think they dream about ways to find the main beams of my home and break them down, one by one.  They immediately melt me with their hugs, but then start pushing furniture against the countertops, to start attempting to climb them looking for food with lots of processed sugar and hydrogenated oils.  Then it begins, operation- keep- them- alive.   They see no fear and no boundaries in heights, sharp objects, or tiny little things that can fit in your mouth.   Poor Cozi's favorite phrase is, "STTTTOOP, BOYYYYYS!"  My oldest boy is 7, and he's not as wild as the younger dynamic duo (2 and 3).  But he does like to fly through the house wide open while pushing a cozy coupe (containing one of my children).  You see, this aint my first rodeo, since I'm a momma of 5.  There's a thing or two I've learned about boys...

1.  They can be pretty gross...

Yesterday, I found Dax talking sweetly to his baby brother and I knew something was up.   "Here, Cubby, just drink it, it's gooood.  It's yummy, Cubby.  Daxie made it for you."  I run to the living room to see him holding a clear bottle with yellow liquid at the bottom.  I think fast.  "Did I buy Lemonade at Sam's last week?  No...Is that orange juice?  How could he pour it into that bottle so neatly?"  But, then I realize the truth when I see Cozi mimicking what he did in the corner.  He had peed in the bottle, and was gently persuading his little bro to have a swig.  It wasn't completely surprising and definitely wasn't the first time he's took a leak in the Sam's water bottle.  He finds it amusing.  But thank the good Lord, Cubbie did NOT drink it. Yesterday, I also found an opened loaf of bread laying next to the toilet.  I know, it's completely disgusting.  No wonder my other child had MRSA last week. KIDDING I threw it away immediately, I promise.  Speaking of toilets, my boys obviously can't aim to save their lives.  No matter how much bleach and spray cleaner I use, our bathrooms still always seem to smell like pee!  Momma's of boys...you feel me, sisters?   But not only do they pee on the walls behind the toilet, their pee on every tree and every patch of grass in the Southwest.  Another thing...I swear, I can get them all dressed, and gel their hair, and they are dirty 3 seconds later.  If there is something they can get into that has a speck of dirt, they find it.  They come in from outside smelling like wet puppy dog, errreytime.  Dirt mounds at the ball park is their fave!  I might as well invent a scentsy bar in the flavor of ammonia and keep it plugged in day and night.  Hudson's little nose is dirty everytime he goes  outside, don't know how, but it always ends up that way.  And the younger ones...they're camoflaughed in dirt and grime.


2. They BREAK shit

Let me just list the items that were broken at my house:  A picture frame, 2 babydoll strollers (from racing them demo derby style), a new 6 pack box of flood light bulbs, a nerf gun, and my personal fave...MY MACBOOK.  You know how at Greek weddings, they throw plates and shatter them to the ground?  I feel like I was attending and celebrating a greek unity in my basement at home last week.  I heard them quiet for a few minutes, which was nice, but is never...EVER a good thing.  I went down stairs and see them running in a circle, and before I could do anything about it they each busted 3 
light bulbs on the tile and started screaming and clapping, and jumping up and down.  I think I may have cried that day, because it happened to be the same one that Cubbie shattered my Macbook screen, which is costing $500 to replace.  Ever saw those sour patch commercials, where they cut someone's hair and then give them a hug so they can't stay mad?  That's my life.  I sent Cody a text the read, "I give up ever trying to clean, I have to put all my effort into keeping them alive.  Is it normal for our kids to act like they're on crack?"  My hubby's the best and always encourages me and tells me I'm doing a good job, even when I am sure I'm not.  Also las week, a trim guy came to measure last week and asked if I took medication because among all the chaos and wild kiddos running around, "I seemed chill."  Naw, momma aint stoned, I'm just totally and completely used to it. Call it patience, call it the peace of God, call it dazed...whatever.  Thankfully, I'm chill most of the time.  If not you'd be talking me off the ledge on the daily.  I do know one thing, I can NEVER...EVER try and give up caffeine again. 


3.  They are FUNNY...
I am not lying when I say I could write for 3 straight days about how funny my boys are.  I seriously don't know how Dax comes up with things he does at the ripe age at 3.  Sometimes, pretty much daily I question my parenting after he rambles these things off to me...but I ALWAYS laugh,  I know that may not ethical when he says dirty words, or tells me he wants "peanut butter jelly and my NUUUTSSS, for lunch... but trust me, you'd laugh too.  I literally cried to Cody a couple weeks ago and said I felt like I was failing as a mother, and I will never ever be that Proverbs 31 mother and wife that I so desperately long to be.  I got a good heart, and I try.  But I do have a mouth sometimes, and so does my 3 year old.  Everyone says Dax is the funniest kid they know, and it aint just bc he's mine, it's the truth.  My mom calls every day and says, "What has Dax done today?"  I have a different story for him daily.  After pulling a tick off of his boy area last week in the bath, he proceeded to tell us at dinner that he wanted to be a nut sac for Halloween...and he wanted his dad to be the tick.  I have a pretty good feeling we may not get the good candy if we allowed that costume, so we will prolly just stick to Trolls this year like we've planned.  Ofcourse his big brother loves to take him to the crowd of friends and they all have Dax repeat what his last name is...don't ask.  They loves having him tell them funny stories and laugh hysterically.  Y'all, his best friends are all between the ages of 8-16 year olds.  Dax is the life of the party, that's for sure.  Hoping we can tame it by his teenage years.  I love to threaten, "I'm getting the spoon!"  He says, "No, not the spoon!"  Funny thing is, I don't even own one...yet. 😏😅  He ran to the sideline at his football game the other day, to get 13 sucks off his little bro's paci.  I know, I know...he's almost 4.  But you choose your battles.  I hate seeing judgy posts from moms that have it all figured out.  Where's that middle finger emoji when you need it? Just kidding...but really.

4. They Play ROUGH...
Their favorite past time is jumping off the couches and getting each other in a headlock. If you're lying in the floor, you're fair game.  Don't cry if you get jumped on.  I had go take my oldest daughter for an X-ray after her brother and his buddy jumped off the mattress, onto her foot. It's a million wonders and 5 guardian angels, for the reason they haven't been seriously injured, I mean it.   They also enjoy going to the ballpark at ball games, and wrestling with their buddies in the middle of the grass where people are trying to enjoy the game.  Bath time at our house end up with bloody noses, bruises on knees from jumping, dozens of wet towels...and leaky ceiling tiles in our basement from all the water....no lie.  My sweet precious Nana came to stay with them for a couple hours yesterday, and my only verbal instructions were, "Just don't let them climb outside and fall off the deck."  An older lady last week asked my friend at the ballpark if she knew who the child belonged to, that was scaling the dirt cliff at Fred Hale.  Yep, he's mine.  He's a survivor.  And if you only knew his freakish balance and instincts, you would understand why I'm taking my chances with that hill.  Better than him running in the parking lot...

4.  They are ALWAYS HUNGRY...
I complained to Cody the other day about always fixing meals and snacks around the clock.  I mean, seriously...alllll the time.  I can't get them full, they always wanna eat.  I was discussing it with my aunt, who is equally hilarious.  She said she was gonna get a shirt made that said "Snack Bit$ch" and wear it every day of her life, because that's pretty much her role in life.  My refrigerator opens every 5 minutes when they're all at home.  They ALWAYS. WANNA. SNACK.  I can't imagine what it's gonna be like when they hit puberty and teenage growth spurts...we will both have to take a second job.  Hopefully, I'll have a book deal by then, to help with the grocery bill 😜. 

5.  NUDITY is a Way of Life...
And you must accept it.  I'm become very used to naked butts running around my house and out in the yard. It aint nothin but a thang. If you ever stop by my address during the months of January-December summer, you'll often see clothing piles at random places. Jump on the trampoline?  Let's strip.  Going swimming?  Get naked.  See the mail man?  Ditch the clothing.  
  

6.  They LOVE their Momma's...
I never quite understood the term momma bear, til I laid eyes on my first borns.  Mess with my mine, and you will see a side of me that aint pretty.  All my boys, are momma's boys.  They make me melt like a popsicle when they wrap their little arms around my neck.  I love all my babies, my 2 girls and my 3 boys.  They ALL want me at bedtime, and though I'm exhausted at that point, I never turn down snuggles.  I know one say they'll be going out on dates and be too busy with phone calls to their girl friends.  But for now, I am the most important woman in their life.  It's our jobs to let them make messes, wrestle in the floor, make endless forts, and know that dirt won't hurt a thing...and to teach them to be good men. They may be meaner than rattle snakes, but I love that every time the sun begins to set, Hudson will run to get me so we can see how pretty the colors are. And how he notices the sparkle in my eyeshadow...and every single time they hear a helicopter, they grab their daddy and run outside to see it and watch it go over. They will be grown in the blink of an eye... so for now...I'll enjoy the moment and let them be little boys.

What have you learned about raising boys?  Please no negative comments about my parenting...you do you...and I'll keep doing me.  I LOVE all my sweet followers and hope to make my blog a big deal one day, it's kind of my dream. 😅

Post next week will be about Raising Girls and then Mompreneurs!  Please subscribe to my blog and SHARE with your friends!

Much love,

Andi xoxo

Why I'm NOT a cart returner...

     So...about a month ago, I saw a post going around my newsfeed about how awesome a person you were if you returned your cart at the store.  I gave an eye roll and kept scrolling.  Yada, yada, yada.  I call bull.  Because I'll be honest and real, y'all...I typically don't return mine either (unless the hateful lady at food lion is watching, I'm a little scared of her).  Sometimes it's because I'm scared of someone calling me in for leaving my kids alone in the car, while I run that buggy back to it's homeplace.  Or because I have something epic to do (like put my child on her potty seat before she pees her pants).  Or I might be losing my sh#t, because my kid screamed all during checkout and I really need a coffee or a cig. I'm kidding, mom   But, most of the time it's for her.  I know you've seen her.  I may pass her on the street,  you may know her from church, or maybe you are her.  So here's to you momma...

For the momma at Sam's Club, praising Jesus for their big carts to fit her wild tots in.  I leave it for her.   The one that is on her 5th day of dry shampoo and knows how to rock a CC beanie like no one else.  Who hopes she won't bump into anyone she knows because she hasn't had time to apply makeup.  Because they may not recognize her because she hasn't slept much since 2010.  AND unless your name is MAC or you're a snapchat filter, you can't hide those dark circles.  Whether that baby be 8 months or 8 years, she still rocks them and comforts every bad dream.  She lays awake at night when the house is quiet and worries about the bills, food allergies, and that bully at school.  She's secretly plotting how to put that kid in it's place.  (Perhaps at the next halloween party)

To the working momma who is trying to multitask and still keep it all together.  But loses her keys, her bra, and her mind daily.  She only has half an hour for lunch, so she jams out to nineties at noon and promised to pick up craft supplies to volunteer at her kid's school.  She is fueled by coffee runs, mom guilt, and the treadmill if she has the time.  She regrets signing up for the duty of room mom, but thought she could handle another task if it was for her child...  

To the momma roaming aimlessly through the aisles of Target, trying to find herself...but only leaves with diapers and butt paste, never anything for herself.  She appreciated the stranded buggy, because she didn't wanna carry her 2 tots in the rain to get one.  She is rocking the black yoga pants, because no matter how hard she tries, those cute jeans never seem to fit right anymore.  And if she sees one more workout video or post about water, she's gonna blow her fuse.   I see her trying to juggle the monthly budget and still buy the leotard her little girl has been eyeing for weeks.  She may look like the product of a 3 day binger, but the last party she attended, included mickey and minnie mouse.  Momma's just worn out.

To the momma running into Lifeway for a new devotional to get her through this phase she's in.  She prays for wisdom and grace with the whole parenting thing, and her tad bit of a potty mouth.  And her kid with the potty mouth ✋✋✋✋✋✋✋✋.  And wonders how to get her kid to stop saying that his last name is asshole, to anyone that asks in friendly conversation.   She prays about how to talk to her daughter about self worth and humility in a world full of selfies and crop tops. And she's trying to learn how to cut herself a little slack when it comes to the tough stuff.

To the baseball momma who's running in Kroger to quickly for goldfish, because it's her turn for snacks again. Can't forget shout spray for those dirty grass stains from last weeks game.  She wonders how she's ever gonna conquer that laundry pile that awaits her, and the dinner that has to be served by that ball game at 6.  By the way, where are those stinkin blue ball socks?!?   And hopes her boy hits a homerun tonight and believes in himself , and knows she's his biggest fan.  

  The momma at Hobby Lobby dreaming of decorating that porch for fall, but will be happy to settle for a couple pumpkins, a few empty slushy cups, and pairs of tiny tennis shoes by the door. She's also wondering WTH they make their buggies so small?  I mean, how do they expect us to put our kids in there and buy things?

AND FINALLY... 

  To The momma at Chic Fil A, whose kid got massive diarrhea, while venturing down the slide at the play land.  It wasn't brought to her attention until  the 7 year old was covered in sh*t.  After she and her humiliated hubs  tried to warn the other kids that weren't hers, none would listen or obey the stern warnings!  So she made a run for it, like she stole 500 chicken sandwiches.  All with her red faced hubby and kids in tow  and gave a courteous call about sanitation from the road. All while laughing hysterically like a grade school girl.  Anyone know her?  I don't...

 You see, I always appreciate those lonely buggies in the parking lots, because I always have my brood with me, and if I'm alone...that lonely cart serves as a little sweet gesture to help me accomplish my shopping a little easier.  We all push a different cart, that no one knows about, and God made no momma the same...but we're all in this momma hood together.  The happy ones and the sad ones.  The friendly ones and the shy ones.  From the bottom to the top...one crazy momma to the other.  From the sweet ones, to the mean ones.  And if you're one of the mean ones, I wish your Mondays to be long and coffee to be cold...and those stray legos in the hallway to be sharp 👊 But for real ladies... just keep on pushing, even on the days you're winded!   And if you just happen to leave that cart stranded sometimes, just think of her that's like you... and don't feel so bad.   

Much love to all my friends and followers!  The next post will include LOTS of funny Dax stories along with many of my other wild munchkins.  SHARE if you can relate.  Gotta build a following for that dream one day...