Surviving Winter

      Yall have no idea how many blog ideas I've had and the stories I've had to tell, but have gotten too busy to sit down and type these out.  There is always so much going on in the Harper house and lots of laughs and chaos.  We have lots to catch up on.  I hope to post my others soon!  Anyways...  If you live anywhere in Kentucky, you know the flupocalypse has hit us all.  Lysol ya kids, lysol ya wife, lysol ya husbands...because errrrrebody got the Flu!  I took 4 of mine to the walk in clinic in BG yesterday.  Let's just say I went prepared, with ipads charged, snacks and suckers.  But yall, I'm pretty sure everyone in the waiting room wished the Good Lord would let the flu go ahead and take them out before they had to finish out their wait with us.  I saw the looks.  I saw the man vigorously texting his significant other about his quick choice to never reproduce.  They were dropping raisins, fighting, coughing, and refused to keep their masks on.  Rebels, I tell ya.  After lots of suckers, bribing, swabbing, consoling, and waiting, flu A and strep were positive.  My poor sweet babies! 😰

      You know how it is with sick kids...you go into survival mode.  I've had to make sure Paislee has had peace and privacy bc her sweet little self has been so sick. Hudson had a fever, but still has felt ok.  Cozi has been sick too but still up and playing.   You try and give lots of cuddles, meds on time, soup cooked, fluids poured around the clock.  And cleaning up vomit or random kleenexes all around your house, all while trippin over laundry.  That's been us this week, except with the girls sick and the boys being buck wild.  Flying through the house on scooters that ram me in the heels, Dax asking me every 60 seconds to pull their finger, and Hudson requesting a new snack every 20 minutes.  I kid you not, at 8:34 this morning I had to text Cody to have him buzz in (in a scary voice) on the intercom and tell the boys to put their shirts back on and stop the wrestling match. It's all fun and games til someone gets kicked in the balls.  No boys, not on my watch. { I will try and protect your future swimmers so you won't have to spend thousands getting my grandkids here one day.}  Cub refuses to have downtime ever. He likes to stand on counters and rummage the cabinets for hair gel to cover his hair in.  He. is. obsessed with it.  

     Praise Jesus no one has cut their hair or their little sisters hair in a month.   {Dax and his little side kick went scissor happy on a spree, cutting everybody's hair.}   I call that a win 🙌  He tricked me today and thought he had slipped off to sleep, (he's the one I have to watch like a hawk 24/7.) Swear yall, Before 8 am I had to perform a wild goose chase and shove my fingers down his throat and beg him, for the love of chocolate to please not OD on damn flinstone vitamins again.  Nope...Not today.  Do yall remember I have ADD?  Where was I?  Oh yeah...Cub.  Yep, he is worse than Dax ever thought about being.  So anyways, he was still and asleep (so I thought)  So I hid out on my bathtub and checked out my amazon deals.  I heard a huge splash and there he was.  How can a momma get mad when he is grinning from ear to ear and says, "You my best friend." Cozi shows up next and says shes "gonna have daddy get me a big sweet tea, so we can share it."    My heart, she knows caffeine is the way to my heart.  That and their sweet little voices. No matter how long some of the winter days are, in a way, they're some of my favorites.  They make you slow down from the everyday hustle and bustle.  Let's try and embrace it, mommas.  Even when it's tiring, it's a good thing to be needed.  But I will say, the chef here is reallllly tired and I vote Wacky Pack Wednesday for tomorrow. 
      Valentine's Day is in a couple days and the date we had planned won't be happening.  We will postpone and maybe have a fajita and movie date in the living room when the kids go to bed.  You can never go wrong with chips and salsa, and a good chick flick...I mean action movie.  It's funny how things change over the years and what the definition of love and romance looks like.  When you're young you plan the perfect romantic nights, dinners out, roses, lingerie.  Though, the romance is still very much alive.  I'm so thankful for a hubby that helps out and is my partner. We make a great team.  Sometimes love looks a little different, depending on the phase of life you're in.  Right now...Love is changing the toddlers sheets when he accidentally wet the beds at night.  It's making a stop at Sonic on your way home from work to get your wife a sweet tea or diet dr. pepper with vanilla.  It's waking early to fix his coffee every morning before he runs out the door.  It's crashing on the couch together at night just to cuddle and watch some HULU or Netlflix.  It's telling your wife she's beautiful everyday, even when she's a hot mess and wearing the same oversized tshirt for the second day in a rowIt's running the other one a hot bath after a long day.  It's flashin your boobs on the security cam in your living room he checks in on  during the day.😝   I'm thankful for the little things.  For embracing the imperfections.  The countless laughs, the chaos, our crazy life we've created.  No matter what form of love, there is definitely lots of it. 

      Mommas, let's try and enjoy these next few days off of school.  Bring on the board games, puzzles, wrestling matches and momma prayin for patience 20 times.  Cody died laughing at me on Sunday, bc we had to miss church again bc Pais was sick.  I sat them all down an a blanket and was gonna do some bible stories, Duggar Style.  Preachin and teachin em.  After 5 minutes I was having to bite my tongue not to curse. They were wrestling, taking off all their clothes and giggling uncontrollably.  They do this all til momma starts laughing too.  And I think God looks down and laughs sometimes too.  As I always say...he knows our transparency and our hearts...and knows us mommas a little extra grace sometimes. 

Oh yeah, and another thing...

 

Our journey continues.  If you've followed our story in the past, we have 4 sweet frozen embryos waiting on us.  We've always been bold in our story and how precious these little souls are to us.  We will give them each a chance at life (not all 4 at the same time 😂).  We are already praying so hard for God's hand and will to be over their lives, my body and our family. Yes, to some we may be crazy, and maybe we are.  But we know this is what's right for us.  And frankly, the size of our family isn't anyone elses concern. Unless ofcourse, you love big families, then we would love your comments! 🙋💁😹They're ours and as their parents, we will always fight for them and I'll always advocate for sweet Embryos.  Every life matters.  I never thought I'd ever have to defend the fact that human life and souls are sacred and each one has a purpose.  I haven't decided if I will share updates along the way, or blog about it after the process is over.   It's a very emotional process and exhausting process.  Please keep us in your prayers.  

Until next time, 

Love and Lysol...

Andi xoxo 

Back to School Blues

      All it took was closet clean out last week, to open up the floodgate of tears. I was hanging up a bigger size of clothing, and putting up the ones they'd outgrown, and I couldn't help but have tears streaming from my cheeks.  Tears that come when August rolls around every. single. year.  You know those tears, momma?  You know that lump in your throat?  And that feeling of dread?... Like the dread you used to have before that spanish test sophomore year?  Except this time, it's different.  It's because summer time with your kids is almost over...
        That freedom that comes from summer nights. Ahhh, sweet summer nights.  Roasting marshmallows, riding bikes, catching lightning bugs, and late nights at the drive in eating pizza and popcorn on a blanket.  I'll miss lazy mornings with 5 little monkeys "sharing" my coffee... Hold up...I lied!  There aint a thing lazy about 5 kids...but ya get my drift, right?  I love hearing the pitter patter of 10 little feet chasing each other, the shrills of laughter coming from a game of hide and seek.   But...with that also comes breaking up fights, muttering ugly words under my breath 26 times,  asking Jesus to help me do better...and sneaking out back for an occasional cig.  Yelling for them to "shut the door"  every 10 seconds as they run in and out.   HOWEVER...Most days I feel like my sole purpose in life is to feed them every 15 minutes.  My kids are always hungry! Especially Dax.  He legit begged me for tacos at 11:36 last night.  I'll miss my biggest babies.  I'll miss their daddy.  The chaos...our craziness.  The uncontrollable laughter in my house during the day.  I'm so grateful we have summers to be all together and make memories, it's an amazing plus to being a teacher!  I'll miss our dance parties in the living room and our spontaneous trips for snowballs, and so many other of our fun shenanigans. 
       I see all these posts about parents that can't wait to send their kids back to school.  Meanwhile, I sit and wonder if I'm the only one googling home school programs and trying to bargain with Mr. Harper about me keeping them with me.  He's come to expect that as the norm every year we go back, because he knows how much I miss them.  We won't talk about the truancy officer visiting us last year..."Uhhh...ummm. My kids get strep a lot.  ok.  And... they need me.  You don't know my life, sir!" Hahahahaha! 
  
     I know each August, school is inevitable.  Don't get me wrong, I am so incredibly blessed that they are healthy, thriving, and able to grow each year.  And blessed with an amazing school and staff!  But time slips through our grasp so quickly once you become a parent 😭.  With each summer, they gain more independence, and they grow a couple inches.  How is it possible they are already entering third grade? 

I'm so grateful that they have an amazing teacher!  Just as they have had the past 3 years. 

      I know with back to school comes routine, crisp air, homework, and spelling tests.   It also comes with new hopes and conversations.  
      Hopes that sometimes die early on when you're a mom like me.  😂 
Hopes of getting organized or momma getting in shape.  Hopes of keeping the house tidier or preparing lunches in those cute little boxes.  You know the ones from pinterest?  With the muffin liners, and pretzels, and hummus, and cute little star shaped sandwiches.  And hoping my kids don't have such high expectations  when they actually see an uncrushable and bag of "healthy" cheddar popcorn. Hopes that my ADD will subside and I can somewhat be productive during the day; rather than pacing with a cold cup of coffee... and feeling like a deranged hamster on a wheel, with legos and laundry all around her.  I've got hopes of teaching Dax all his ABC's.  Teaching him to have a filter (if that's possible) and not to say cuss words.  And hopes to truly enjoy every moment with my 3 littles at home during the day.  Every puzzle and every block tower they build for me... then throw at me from across the room. 😏😜 I hope to be present and intentional.  I know their first day will be here before we know it... but thank ya Jesus it aint this week.  There aint enough prozac in this town to prepare me for that.  Did I mention this is Dax's last year home with me?  Oh for the love of pancakes,  please someone throw me my inhaler! 
      Each year at this time we also begin to start having conversations about school...
Conversations about being the nice kid.  Being respectful to their teachers and peers.  To be themselves.  To be kind, or complimenting the kid who looks sad.  Sitting with the lonely kid at lunch.  THEN... there are conversations about not taking anyone's crap if they pick on them. 🙅 Don't ever start a fight, but finish it if ya got to.  Also, write their name down so momma bear can keep tabs on those a-holes.😆 It's a fine line, mommas.  Y'all know the struggle.  We want them to be sweet, gentle, and sensitive.  But also don't want them getting picked on.
I'm gonna be hopeful and confident that even though, some days I feel like I fail miserably as a parent, I know that the kindness we instill in them can go a long way, even in third grade.  I know their little ears are listening, even when it feels like they aren't. Atleast I hope so?!?  I know that they will mess up, a lot, probably...and I'll be there to dust them off and tell them they know better. ( They are my kids, so they'll probably get in trouble for something like laughing in class.)  Sadly, at some point I know they will come home with their feelings hurt, and it's their momma's job to be waiting at the door with a hug and some chocolate chip cookies or a stale bag of doritos, depends on the day.   I also know they'll have triumphs and exciting days .  And I'll be the one waiting then too, to high five them and hear all about it.  That's a momma's job...to just be there.  And be everything they need us to be.

      SO.....on this last day of summer break, I have great big plans.  Plans of doing nothing with my 5 little people.  Plans of snuggling, watching movies, and eating junk food. Riding bikes, swinging, and jumping on the trampoline.  A day that doesn't include emails, or texting, or laundry (except those darn white t-shirts the hubs keeps losing, pshhh.)😒 .  I'm gonna snuggle them and play with them while they still want me to.  So don't come a knocking at my door today, unless you bringin me iced coffee or free tacos, because things will probably be messy around here. And, you may or may not judge my abilities as a housewife. I know today will pass too fast, just like the summer has.  And tonight, we will be packing backpacks and doing baths, and settling in for an early bedtime (except mommy, who is blogging and editing at 3 am ). And tomorrow... off they will go, and yes...I'm walking them in.  Because it's the last year the school will allow it 😭

      After they go, I will anxiously await and look forward to the door slingin open at 3:30, hearing all about their day.  I'll start counting down til fall break, weekends, and middle school...when daddy finally agrees to let me homeschool them.  And pray for a snow day in September...

Hang in there, mommas.  We're all in this together... Now y'all go enjoy that last bit of summer too, while I go cry in my closet.    

Thanks for always following, liking, and SHARING!  I love feedback and am growing my blog very soon! :)

Confessions of a Baseball Mom...

      I've saw a shirt several times over the past few months that reads, " My Kid has Practice."  Man, I need it.  Cause we always got something going on.  Sometimes I check the weather forecast like a farmer in the middle of a drought.  Just secretly hoping for rain after you've not spent a night at home in 3 flipping weeks. Just Kidding...kinda 🤷‍♀️🙊. Baseball/Softball is our fave!!! But, here are a few confessions that every mom of a player can relate to...

1.  You have to keep up with ALL kinds sorts of uniforms and other shit...
      Yall...last week I lost a tuna fish sandwich and a new pair of baseball cleats in the same hour.  If you let me borrow a phone charger, it may disappear before my phone reaches 10 %.  It's just how I roll.  It's in my DNA, y'all.  I should get " I lose shit" tattooed on my wrist.  So maybe it'd remind me to store those important tax documents away somewhere for a rainy day.  So imagine the struggle when 3 of my kiddos are in 3 different leagues.  We got gymnastics leotards, softball gear, ball stuff, grey pants with blue pin stripes, and WHITE ball pants. Guess who has the white pants?  Yep...Dax.  His love language is food aka cheetos.  Them white pants don't stand a chance, yall.  I'm not a fit mom, I get winded from just walking up he stairs.  But trust me, you get a workout sprinting from laundry basket to laundry basket trying to find those darn red socks.   This momma is notorious for hanging damp jerseys out the window with both hands and a prayer they'll be dry when we arrive at Ol' Fred Hale.  Travel Team moms should win an award, swear.  We did all stars last summer, and it was exhausting. AND, I know that doesn't hold a light to how travel teams spend every weekend.  As a ball mom, you have to be prepared to run home last minute for a baseball glove they left by accident, or a jersey dad didn't grab out of the dryer. 

2. You gotta juggle cheering and keeping the other ones alive...
      If you've ever sat next to me at the ball park, you probably wish you hadn't.  I'm in tie for probably the loudest mom in the stands.  I don't know what it is.  I feel like if I cheer louder, he somehow runs faster and hustles more, lol. During basketball season, my kid cried after he hit his second shot...because I jumped up out of chair and screamed like there was an active shooter.  No matter how hard I try to keep my mouth shut, boy it is so hard for me. It may be little league, but it feels like the world series when I see my kid on the field.  Proud momma is an understatement.  It's always a struggle when you have 2 or 3 on totally different fields.   All while cheering on my babies, I got 3 other ones throwing rocks at strangers, scaling the dirt cliff, or running as fast as the can towards the parking lot.  Trust me, sometimes people stare.  But they also stare when you show up with them on leashes.  Just smile.  Keeping them little souls alive sometimes is a job in itself, y'all.  Ok, this is a no judging zone...remember.  So...During P's first softball practice last week, I had one typical ADHD child running circles around the stands, the 2 younger boys jumping off bleachers, and climbing trees....YES...climbing trees.  Cubbie found the biggest limb he could find and hit our sweet friend, Brian with it.  Good thing he's a chaplain, y'all.  Or he might be cussing my 2 year old.  I told my mom last week that Cub and Dax are the reasons I can't stop cussing for good.  They'll beat you with a stick, then tell you you're pretty and give you a hug.  Thank God Jo was there to help me tame them and laugh with me.  MOMMAS of toddlers...it's so important to laugh instead of cry.  Because, it kinda is funny.  And this too, shall pass.  It may pass like a kidney stone...but it will.  

3. Health and Beauty goes out the Window.
      Last week we went to Aldi.  Momma was on a mission to cook salmon, chicken, and veggies. To promote better health and hopefully help lower Daddy's blood pressure.  I opened my fridge this morning and the broccoli and asparagus were still staring at me.  You know what we promoting this week, y'all?  Mcnuggets.  I have this secret talent of tossing nuggets in the backseat like a ninja.  It is soooo hard to cook sometimes, when you gotta be at a practice at 4 and another on 2 hours later.  And don't get home til 8 or later some nights.  Momma is gonna have to get creative about sandwiches and meals on the go, so we aren't going broke every week on Sonic and McDonalds.  I've learned that some weeks or every week there is absolutely nothing wrong than a quick meal in the car and an occasional cigarette.  And since momma doesn't really throw back the wine on stressful nights, I will chug a large diet coke or sweet tea.  It's completely necessary.  You won't see this momma in anything with yoga pants and t-shirts.  Quick tip, consider all the dust at the ball park free and tinted dry shampoo, haha!  And I promise I bathe my kids, but after being at the ball park for 10 minutes, they dirty from head to toe. You feel me, mommas?  Don't judge me or their cute dirty little faces...because if you're there, your kids will be dirty too, lol. 

4. It's hard to keep quiet...
       I feel like I have to make sure the coach isn't too hard on number 9, my oldest.  Sometimes I feel like he is harder on him than the rest of the team.  And you can take a wild guess about how momma bear feels about that.  If I see tears, I may be guilty or taking action.  Oftentimes, I have to give him the look or quietly say a few choice words at the dugout.  Or threaten to cut him off.  Did I mention the coach is also my husband?  He usually takes the hint and smooths things over with his first baseman aka his firstborn.  I'm kidding.  He's pretty awesome!  His favorite thing is throwing the ball in the yard with them and helping them do well.  It's tough coaching your kid, especially with me as a wife, sometimes, lol. My friend offered to bring a giant box of blow pops this season.  Because it's a struggle to keep calm and quiet during a heated game.  Last year I lost it so bad during tournament time, that I had to pray about it when I left.  One thing is fir sure my kids know I'm their biggest fan, and will always cheer during the good games and bad ones too. We gotta leave it on the field in a small town.  Especially when you're literally friends with every team you play.  Dear sweet Jesus, please help me to keep peace and not be easily angered this season. And please help coaches not be dumb, everyone to play fair, and don't let anyone make a bad call on my baby.  Amen. 

5. Remember that these are THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES...
      A couple weeks ago we were vacationing with our friends and things were pretty chaotic between all 8 of the kids.  I noticed an older man smoking a cigarette with a smile and watching us.  You know this paranoid mom's first thought is worrying if he's a child abductor a weirdo.  He approached us and what he said will stick with me. "Enjoy these years.  I hope you know you are living the best years of your life.  What I'd give to be busy with my kids again.  Last year I lost my middle daughter to cancer.  She was 34."  I got chills and tears in my eyes.  He was so right.  These years are CRAZY, BUSY, EXHAUSTING.  But I would not trade them for anything in the world.  We love every minute of the craziness.  I want to slow down and really enjoy it more this year.  Because the thing about kids is, they grow taller every year.  Next year that uniform they're sporting now, will be too short.  We need to enjoy the phase and season...Of spending endless hot summer days and chilly nights with some of our favorite people.  Of watching our babies grow and learn sportsmanship and friendship.  And learn to win AND lose.  Because, in my opinion.  Learning to do both gracefully is SO important.  No one likes a sore loser...and not everyone gets a trophy.  You win some and lose some.  It's your character that matters during each of those.  Baseball/Softball Mommas-  You are doing an amazing job.  If you ever feel unorganized, or unprepared, or tired.  You aren't alone!  I'll be waiting to hug your neck the next time I see you. Just remember that you are their biggest fan and they will NEVER forget all the cheering, sweat, and tears you sacrificed for them!  It's all worth it!

6. Baseball/Softball Family is Everything...
      Some of our greatest friendships all started with baseball team mates/parents.  I've got one thing to say about baseball...it takes a village!!! Need tips on making new friends?  Here's one... "Hey girl, can you watch these 2 while I take my son to pee down by the car?"  Boom.  You're friends.  The end.  Invite them for a snow cone at Pelicans...which we frequent often.  It's important to form alliances with these people.  They are your people.  They too, are chaos coordinators...just like you!  They too, showed up with dirt stains on those stubborn white ball pants.  Those friends will have your back when things might get ugly with an umpire or unpleasant coach.  They too, will cheer along with you when your baby hits their first home run of the season.  They won't judge you when they see that your four year old has ditched their shoes and is running through the dirt like Tarzan...or when you forget it's your turn for snacks again.  And they will laugh with you when you tell you child to stop peeing on every tree they see.  They'll buy your kid a blow pop when you're fresh outta change.  They are the ones that will video your baby batting while you're en route to the next field over to catch the last half of the other kid's game.   They grab your kid and bring him to you when she may have gotten out of your reach.  They will dig through a dirty trash can and stay long after to help you find your keys.   They cheer your child on when they catch that pop fly...even if they are on the opposite bleachers.  They will hug your kids after games, they will spoil them.  They take the socks off their own child after a game, because your child forgot theirs.  They'll encourage your child along with you when it's an off night and they aren't hitting their best.   They are your people and your friends for life. 

      To our baseball family...whether we are on the same teams or not.  You know who you all are!  You each hold special places in my heart and I love each of you.  Thank you for your friendships!  I can't wait to see you all in he stands this year and greet you with hugs, or help watch your younger ones, on your next trip to the portapotty ;) !

Lose Yourself...

       Hello again sweet friends!  I swear, I could blog every day about my life and the hilarity of my 5 kids.  I wish I had time!  But here is a post post y'all can all relate to...

       Sometimes, as mommas, it's easy to lose yourself.  Lose yourself under the never ending laundry, that can never be caught up.  Lose yourself under that pile of bills that comes every month, and the worry that comes from that child that is struggling in school.  We lose ourselves in...
      Sleep Deprivation.  I swear on Santa's reindeer, I feel like I aint slept in 8 years.  Y'all feel me?  It seems like I take a series of light naps everytime I lay my head down.  It just happens when you become a mom, you cannot sleep soundly.  And someone at my house is always waking up.  Someone falls off the bed, has a night terror, or needs a drink of water.  If you're Cozi, you beg to put on a pretty pair of shoes at 3 am.  Or if you're Pais, you may be seeing a ghost at the end of your bed. The first 6 months of Cub and Cozi's life were a huge blur for me.  I was just soooo tired.  But the thing is, we cannot let our exhaustion cause us to rush through these stages.  These babies grow up wayyyy too fast.  We have to seize the moment, with our dark circles and a cup of coffee in our hands.  It's important to really "be there" in the moment with them.  Even if they're telling you the same story over and over, or asking you 22 thousand questions.  If we don't enjoy the moment in the phase we are in, we will have a lifetime of regret, for letting it slip through our fingers without truly being there and enjoying every moment.  One day, they won't need us as much, and we will wish that they did.  
      Sometimes, we even forget our own passions and interests.  The other day, I made my girls a headband for halloween.  And though it wasn't an easy task to do with 3 little mischief makers running around, it made me remember that I love crafting.  I just never have time to do it.  What were your hobbies?  Do you remember?  We tried to craft last night making ornaments out of sticks and ribbon.  I always picture us watching elf, while having cookies in the oven, music playing, and giggling while creating something fun.  HA!  JOKE IS ON ME!   Last night, our craft ended in tears from Pais about how bad she sucks at patterns.  Hudson kicking a wall because he can't tie well, and momma yelling while burnin her dadgum salmon.  Meanwhile, Dax takes off his clothes and plays in wax from a candle, and Cubbie goes through and destroys errrrebody's craft.  
      Sometimes, we lose ourselves in the to do list. I'll be honest, most days I feel like a dadgum failure.  Why can I seriously not keep my shit together?  I mean, really.  I told my friend last week that I should get, "wingin it,"  tattooed on my wrist...along with my other tattoo ideas.  👊  That's just my motto, whether I like it or not...that's me.  That has to be how God wired me, because even when I try, I feel like I fail, over and over again.  I wish I could afford to pay someone to organize my life.  Maybe when I'm 30, or when I write my book ;)  Anywho,  Last week was a tough week, I honestly can't even remember many details, other than crying calling mom... and sending some texts venting to my hubby.  I think I may or may not have gotten chewed out in spanish, had the truancy attendance officer visit my house, and had part of my carpets ruined. I'm not sure 😉😂  My mom caught wind, and when I went by her house and she had me a little gift.  A coffee mug, soft blanket, and pj's.  I thanked her, but when I got the kids to bed that night, I bawled like a baby.  Yall, it's nice to be thought of, even when we put ourselves last on the daillllly.  Small gestures of kindness go a long way.  We forget sometimes, that we are humans, we are women, not robots.  It's hard, sometimes.  But it always gets done.  For me, it's always in the last hour, on a whim and on a prayer.  But nevertheless, the things get done.  And oftentimes, that "to do list" gets nothing crossed off, and gets splashed with chocolate milk, but ya know there's always tomorrow.   
            Sometimes my to do list is soooo long and rarely anything gets accomplished.  But one that I have, but sometimes fail at too, is to reach my babies hearts.  Thanks Momma Duggar.  Sweet Michelle, I love that woman.  I swear if I could meet anyone besides Jesus himself, it would be her, no lie.  I wish I could raise my kids like her, (except for the weirdo one that liked prostitutes.)  But anyways, I heard this on an episdode one time and it really stuck with me. In the middle of chaos, still let your kiddos know that they matter too, individually.  Maybe they're whining, or complaining about a friend that hurt their feelings, but we have to reach their hearts and let them know they matter, no matter how chaotic is gets.  Multitasking is hard, but we somehow master cooking, cleaning up spilled milk, all while breaking up a wrestling match, and studying for an AR test (and repeating for the 23rd time that asshole is not a nice word to say.).
      Sometimes, we lose ourselves in the self doubt.  We look in the mirror and see yesterday's makeup and dark circles.  You look to the right to see a framed, glowing picture of yourself 10 years ago and long to look that way again.  You become certain that your husband is lying when he tells you how sexy you are every day.  You magnetize your flaws and think on those things.  I'm a totally and completely unorganized, fly by the seat of my pants, air headed, scatterbrained, messy, momma.  I hate these traits, but they totally make me who I am.  And honestly, if I sweat the small stuff, I'd be in my grave by now.    Like, why do we even have scissors in the house?  

Yep, he did that.  But, really, I'm surprised it just now happened and he hasn't done it sooner...

 My babies and hubby are the fuel that keep me going, along with 5 cups of coffee, a lot of Jesus and an occasional cigarette.  I pray for God's grace and forgiveness daily, and hope that he has a sense of humor for my crazy life.  I got a good heart, but sometimes this mouth gets me.  Some days you just gotta do you, even if it's messy and you doubt everything about yourself.  Just own it, momma. 

     Dads have tough weeks too, Ladies.  Last week my husband called a microwave a bit%h.  We've only had her a couple days and the poor thing hadn't even been plugged in yet.  I'm sure she feels downright used.  Where's our feminist rally?  I was in the living room editing when I heard the conversation.  He couldn't get his screws in the wall without stripping, so he took it out on her.  Mental Abuse is never the answer. You see, it was one of those days.  After paying way too much money for a gigantic baby gate, we put that sucker up and giggled when Cubbie, a tiny little man of few words, said "Let me Out!"  And shook the gate in frustration.  Since we are adding onto our home, the boys have found hammers, screws, concrete mortar, and anything else you could possibly think of to try and destroy our home.  They've cut fresh drywall, scratched fresh pain with screws, and thrown mortar like it was their job.  If that shit causes blindness, their little retinas don't stand a chance. So, anyways, after successfully keeping them out of new room during construction yesterday, they decided to rip open a newly delivered UPS box and pull out all the foam protectant.  Have you guys ever tried to clean that stuff up?  Omg, it was disastrous, so much for washing my hair that day.  

      Sometimes we get lost in the messes?  Messes?  You don't have those?  Maybe this blog aint for your liking, then.  I'm kidding.  But really, if you're a momma and don't have messes, I wanna know your secret.  Cause if my kids enter the room, it's messy, and I've learned to accept that and y'all that are beating yourself up, need to accept it too.  

I had a blizzard going on in my house after that devilish styrofoam...and there was no freakin containing it.   Those plans were replaced with  sweeping and vacuuming little white pieces of snowy, foamy, product errrywhere.  After a few hours, momma had it taken care of.  But, when daddy arrived home, Cubbie thought he'd pull a shennanigan on him.  After daddy had stained more lumber, as he's been doing every afternoon, for weeks, Cub decided to lock himself in the car and have an all you can eat halloween candy feast.  Daddy looked like a bipolar looney dad that needed a trip for a check up at the 6th floor.   He'd go from saying, "Come here buddy, daddy wants a hug."  To straight up veins protruding out of his head and beating the glass window.  Cubbie just smiled and kept eating that sugar.  lol
      The big thing is, that no matter how many times we lose ourselves a day...we gotta keep finding ourselves to.  

 Remember who we are before we had tiny humans just like us.  Go on the date with your hubby, cuddle him on the couch and have a conversation that doesn't involve potty training or report cards.   A sweet friend ran into us at Sam's Club this weekend and reminded us how high the divorce rate was in couples with multiples or lots of children.  And how happy they were to see us thriving and happy.  That meant the world to me.  You gotta keep loving each other and finding each other even on the hard days.  It aint always easy, but it's always worth it!  Last week, my sister in law watched the kids while we had a hot date at Shogun Express and Sam's Club.  It was just what we needed.  It wasn't fancy, but we had some one on one time to laugh and talk.  Mommas, Buy yourself an expensive cup of coffee.  Go for a drive, take an art class...Reach out to your friends....keep in touch no matter how chaotic things are.  Don't always put yourself on the back burner.  I know it sounds superficial, but I ALWAYS feel better when I take the time to apply a full face of my pretty makeup.  It doesn't happen often, but I know it should.  Create a group text with you mom friends where you can make fun of yourselves and laugh at your lives.  I do this sometimes, and it keeps me laughing all day.  The other day one of my girlfriends car got broken into, we all laughed at what a sick joke it would be to break into ours.  My friend said they'd find "pissy panties and moldy cheeseburgers"  Laugh at the funny stuff, try again, and forgive yourself over and over.  Life is too short.  Eat the elfin cake. (If you feel the need to curse, and the F bomb isn't really acceptable with small children, elfin is a good substitute with the holidays.  Don't ya think?  Random tip/ thought I know. )  Sit down on the couch with your babies with a big ol comfy blanket, enjoy the moment and phase you are in...and watch a Christmas movie tonight!  You deserve it!  

Thanks for reading, following, and sharing!  I love all of you!  

How to Handle Mean Girls...

      I couldn't officially decide whether to Blog about Mean Momma's, Mompreneurs, or Raising Daughters.  SO Im gonna kinda combine the 3 topics.  So here's my random mess of #unfiltered thoughts.

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      You think once you graduate high school you escape Regina George (Mean Girls)  and her clan.  Well, if you have a vagina, then, well... you're pretty much wrong.  No matter how much you tend to your own business or try to be kind,  trust me she'll still be there.  Whether it is some mean woman at your work, or momma that lives in the neighborhood watching you jog.   Mean mommas don't wanna see you happy or successful.  I guess it's an insecurity or (an a-hole) or jealousy issue . If she's not a bully in the real world, then she's definitely on social media platforms.  I think at some point in our lives we've all spoke negatively about another woman.  Regretfully, I know I've been a mean girl before in the past.  You are flat out lying if you don't raise your hand, girl.  Jesus knows.   But as you get older, you'd think more women would be building each other up instead of devouring each other on Facebook, a kid's ball game, OR the beauty salon.  Don't take it personally, it's not about you. In my humble option, it's about them and their own insecurities with their bodies or personal lives.  Just ask them this...

 

                             I'm kidding... but for real.  It's kinda funny and true. 

      You mean girls/bullies...you say you got Jesus?  Where he at?  I don't see him, girl.  We do, however, see you posting caddy Facebook status posts on the daily and posting many rude opinions.  So what if your sister didn't breastfeed?  Did that baby starve?  I didn't think so.  My 4 year old takes a paci?  Whatever.  His teeth are just fine.  Except that one cavity he has and that one thats kinda dead at the rot from where he jumped off the chair and nearly broke it off.  

I'H HERE TODAY TO GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE, GIRLFRIENDS!!!!


       Have you heard T. Swift's new jam?  OOOOOOO...look what you made me do?  "I got a list of names and yours is in red underlined?"  Ok, I'm not saying create a shit list of names and throw darts at it.   Sounds kinda fun, though, right? Just kidding.  Or create voodoo dolls with their hair.  BUT...if you're on FB...create a block list.  
     Don't do it to be mean, but just as an easy way to get rid of negativity in that area.  You don't have to see their posts, and they don't need to see yours. Plain and simple. If you know that someone can't keep your name out of their mouth, then why would you allow them access to your personal page and information?  It's common sense.  It's not mean.  It's not childish.  It's just an easy way to get their nose out of yo business.  
       If I would've blogged about this topic 10 years ago, it would be a completely different post.  I'd say go confront her and tell her to kiss it where the sun don't shine.  But now that I'm quickly approaching the last year in my twenties...my views have changes.  Confrontation rarely gets you anywhere.  It does, however give those mean ones the satisfaction of getting under your skin and upsetting you.  The truth is, they don't deserve your time, or your anger. And if you allow them to cause anger and hurt, in a way, they own you.  If you see them out and about, you may wanna cry (I'm a crier sometimes if my feelings are hurt.) OR...you may wanna grab them by the hair of the head and show them a side of hood they aint seen, and I aint talking about that sweatshirt you're wearing right now either. But the best thing to do is KILL THEM...with kindness.  Smile, show them that regardless of their opinions of you...that they will never get you down.  Show them that you DO have Jesus in your heart, and show them by example.   Remember, that you have a clan of WOMEN behind you cheering you on.  Because that's what real women do...empower one another.   That's why I posted this.  For you to know I am encouraging you if you're struggling.    I myself, am soooo thankful for a an amazing team of family and friends that would be ready to do have my back under any circumstances.  Those are the ones you need to focus on.  Honey, if you do me wrong,  my nana will never, ever like you again.  She might pray for you or smile at you, but make no mistake...she will not like you.  And neither will my aunts.  🤣🤣🤣  Loyalty means everything if you're a woman.  And I'm so thankful I was raised by a strong woman, surrounded by strong women, and taught firsthand how to be just that. Ladies, you need to hang with people who have your back...always.  On your good days, and bad days.  Good friends don't care if you're skinny or if you've gained a few.  They don't care if your hair is clean or dirty.  If you're single or divorced.  They don't judge you if your kids may slip a cuss word here or there, or if your car is a mess, or you have soured milk spilled in the floorboard. They shove all that junk in the front seat over, and hop in with you.   It's because they don't come to judge. They come to accept and love you for who. you. are.  Plain and simple.  
      If you're currently going shopping at a store, or getting your nails or hair did somewhere where they are constantly bashing people, I encourage you to stand up for what you know isn't right, and take your business and wallet elsewhere.  Trust me, I'm ALL about a good laugh.  But not as another woman's expense. Unless...you shit your pants or fall and bust yo butt.  I'll go get you new panties, or call 911, but I'm still gonna giggle, sister.  But, I'm gonna do it to ya face, not ya back.  One time in high school, my friend Heather donated blood, and was about to pass out, and was puking her guts up. I couldn't go get help because I was laughing so hard.  But, in my defense, she knew it was a disease I've had since I was little and I couldn't control it 🤣🤣🤣.  I'll just stop right there with all the stories I could tell about me laughing at inappropriate times.  Y'all that know me personally, know this to be true.  But that's another story, for another day.

      My take on Momprenuers and MLM sisters...
I see those of you fussing constantly about your Facebook friends who do multilevel marketing companies such as Youinique, Lipsense,  Monet, Plunder, Avon, Beach Body, ect.  But the thing is, no one is making you buy it.  And guess what?  You definitely don't have to bash or belittle them on your FB page.  Yes, I know it's pricey.  It could possibly get annoying...I get it.  I know those $25 leggings you bought may have a snag, or that morning milkshake has a funky wang to it.   But when you buy from these ladies, you are helping pay for dance lessons, put groceries in the pantry, or keeping the electric bill paid.  This may help pay for an international adoption to give a child a christian home.  This may help pay for medical bills for their child with cancer.  It's not for everyone.   And I'm telling you, I don't usually have the extra cash flow to spend $50 on lipstick or mascara.  But I still support those mommas who are hustling and making money from home!  You go, girls! You know why?  I'm a small business owner, and sometimes it isn't easy.  But you won't hear me constantly downing my competition.  Why be so grumpy about other mommas trying to provide for their fams?  It's not what women are called to do.  Women are called to EMPOWER and ENCOURAGE.  

         We are raising daughters who want to be just like us....scary thought, I know.  They watch every move we make and take in every word we speak.  I know I fail daily when I raise my voice, or let a cuss word slip, or if I let her overhear me talking about my flaws or my ugly stretch marks.  I want my girls to know that God made them in his image.  And no one should ever make them feel less than they are.  I want them to know that they are kind, they are beautiful, they are grace.  I want my girls to know that beauty goes way beyond appearance, and that they should guard their hearts and always keep them pure.  I want them to know their worth, and never question it.  I want them to know, that no matter how many bullies they may face in their lives, that they should always hold to those truths  and to the truths that God has written for them.  

      You see, we hear so much on the news about bullies, but bullies aren't always just in the hallways at school. Someone once asked me, "Why don't you speak to yourself as if you were speaking to your own daughter..."

  That hit a chord with me and was a game changer.  The tears began to fall as soon as I heard those words.  Mommas, sometimes the bully isn't just the mean girl in your town or at your kid's school.  She isn't the lady at the market that might look down on you, or the fit woman judging you at the gym.  Sometimes, the bully is you, with your own self.  Don't beat yourself up.    If you are reading this, think about your daughter, or future child...ask yourself, what would her words be if you are her influence?  Would her words be kind? Would they be uplifting or encouraging?  Would they reflect love?  The fact is, no woman leads a perfect life.  Sister, we all got problems.  That's just life.  But, I'll never understand why some women find happiness from kicking other women on the ground.  If this person is you, it's not too late to change your ways.   If you are the person that has been affected by these type women, stay calm and call your mom.  I'm kidding.  But that's what I always do.  She always gives the best advice and encourages me to let it roll off my back and keep smiling.  Then she is ready to whoop ass so I don't have to...  So, you know, it's a win/win situation.  I'm kidding, y'all.  But you feel me?  Raise your hand if you are a momma bear or if you have a momma bear as a mother?!? 🤣🤣🤣  If you do consider yourself lucky!  It's an instinct to protect your babies, that's for sure!  Something I've learned to be true is this...

Ladies, don't be ever let yourself a victim.  But instead, be victorious.  Live your life and think on those things that are good, noble, and right.  Read proverbs, say a prayer.  Don't feed into drama or respond to it.  Surround yourself with REAL women.  Those that truly care for you and those that don't find joy in gossip, lies, or  in another momma's problems.  Keep your head high ALWAYS.  Don't ever let anyone dull your shine...ever.  

And I'll leave you with my favorite Mean Girls quote...

I wish we could all eat a cake full of rainbows and smiles, and everyone eat a piece and be happy.

Today...CHOOSE HAPPY.  CHOOSE POSTIVITY.  Be the WOMAN, you want your daughters to look up to.  And go give another woman a compliment.  She might need it today.

Here's to STRONG WOMEN...

MAY WE KNOW THEM...

MAY WE BE THEM...

MAY WE RAISE THEM.

Ladies, I wrote this months ago and just decided to share it today.  It was written for those who may be struggling and I hope it helps encourage you today!  Thanks for always reading and sharing!  Mommy post about my crazy kids coming next week!  

Surviving Little Boys...

      Every morning after sending H and P off to school, I got about 7.3 seconds to brew my coffee and hit my knees in prayer.  I aint playin, y'all.  I gotta pray for God's grace, love, and patience to wash over me and his divine protection around the doors and windows of this home.  It's not for the ghostly spirits in the basement here lately, it's for the boys.  I got time to say a quick little prayer before they hear their daddy's car pull out, and their stubby little toes hit the flo wide open. I swear, I think they dream about ways to find the main beams of my home and break them down, one by one.  They immediately melt me with their hugs, but then start pushing furniture against the countertops, to start attempting to climb them looking for food with lots of processed sugar and hydrogenated oils.  Then it begins, operation- keep- them- alive.   They see no fear and no boundaries in heights, sharp objects, or tiny little things that can fit in your mouth.   Poor Cozi's favorite phrase is, "STTTTOOP, BOYYYYYS!"  My oldest boy is 7, and he's not as wild as the younger dynamic duo (2 and 3).  But he does like to fly through the house wide open while pushing a cozy coupe (containing one of my children).  You see, this aint my first rodeo, since I'm a momma of 5.  There's a thing or two I've learned about boys...

1.  They can be pretty gross...

Yesterday, I found Dax talking sweetly to his baby brother and I knew something was up.   "Here, Cubby, just drink it, it's gooood.  It's yummy, Cubby.  Daxie made it for you."  I run to the living room to see him holding a clear bottle with yellow liquid at the bottom.  I think fast.  "Did I buy Lemonade at Sam's last week?  No...Is that orange juice?  How could he pour it into that bottle so neatly?"  But, then I realize the truth when I see Cozi mimicking what he did in the corner.  He had peed in the bottle, and was gently persuading his little bro to have a swig.  It wasn't completely surprising and definitely wasn't the first time he's took a leak in the Sam's water bottle.  He finds it amusing.  But thank the good Lord, Cubbie did NOT drink it. Yesterday, I also found an opened loaf of bread laying next to the toilet.  I know, it's completely disgusting.  No wonder my other child had MRSA last week. KIDDING I threw it away immediately, I promise.  Speaking of toilets, my boys obviously can't aim to save their lives.  No matter how much bleach and spray cleaner I use, our bathrooms still always seem to smell like pee!  Momma's of boys...you feel me, sisters?   But not only do they pee on the walls behind the toilet, their pee on every tree and every patch of grass in the Southwest.  Another thing...I swear, I can get them all dressed, and gel their hair, and they are dirty 3 seconds later.  If there is something they can get into that has a speck of dirt, they find it.  They come in from outside smelling like wet puppy dog, errreytime.  Dirt mounds at the ball park is their fave!  I might as well invent a scentsy bar in the flavor of ammonia and keep it plugged in day and night.  Hudson's little nose is dirty everytime he goes  outside, don't know how, but it always ends up that way.  And the younger ones...they're camoflaughed in dirt and grime.


2. They BREAK shit

Let me just list the items that were broken at my house:  A picture frame, 2 babydoll strollers (from racing them demo derby style), a new 6 pack box of flood light bulbs, a nerf gun, and my personal fave...MY MACBOOK.  You know how at Greek weddings, they throw plates and shatter them to the ground?  I feel like I was attending and celebrating a greek unity in my basement at home last week.  I heard them quiet for a few minutes, which was nice, but is never...EVER a good thing.  I went down stairs and see them running in a circle, and before I could do anything about it they each busted 3 
light bulbs on the tile and started screaming and clapping, and jumping up and down.  I think I may have cried that day, because it happened to be the same one that Cubbie shattered my Macbook screen, which is costing $500 to replace.  Ever saw those sour patch commercials, where they cut someone's hair and then give them a hug so they can't stay mad?  That's my life.  I sent Cody a text the read, "I give up ever trying to clean, I have to put all my effort into keeping them alive.  Is it normal for our kids to act like they're on crack?"  My hubby's the best and always encourages me and tells me I'm doing a good job, even when I am sure I'm not.  Also las week, a trim guy came to measure last week and asked if I took medication because among all the chaos and wild kiddos running around, "I seemed chill."  Naw, momma aint stoned, I'm just totally and completely used to it. Call it patience, call it the peace of God, call it dazed...whatever.  Thankfully, I'm chill most of the time.  If not you'd be talking me off the ledge on the daily.  I do know one thing, I can NEVER...EVER try and give up caffeine again. 


3.  They are FUNNY...
I am not lying when I say I could write for 3 straight days about how funny my boys are.  I seriously don't know how Dax comes up with things he does at the ripe age at 3.  Sometimes, pretty much daily I question my parenting after he rambles these things off to me...but I ALWAYS laugh,  I know that may not ethical when he says dirty words, or tells me he wants "peanut butter jelly and my NUUUTSSS, for lunch... but trust me, you'd laugh too.  I literally cried to Cody a couple weeks ago and said I felt like I was failing as a mother, and I will never ever be that Proverbs 31 mother and wife that I so desperately long to be.  I got a good heart, and I try.  But I do have a mouth sometimes, and so does my 3 year old.  Everyone says Dax is the funniest kid they know, and it aint just bc he's mine, it's the truth.  My mom calls every day and says, "What has Dax done today?"  I have a different story for him daily.  After pulling a tick off of his boy area last week in the bath, he proceeded to tell us at dinner that he wanted to be a nut sac for Halloween...and he wanted his dad to be the tick.  I have a pretty good feeling we may not get the good candy if we allowed that costume, so we will prolly just stick to Trolls this year like we've planned.  Ofcourse his big brother loves to take him to the crowd of friends and they all have Dax repeat what his last name is...don't ask.  They loves having him tell them funny stories and laugh hysterically.  Y'all, his best friends are all between the ages of 8-16 year olds.  Dax is the life of the party, that's for sure.  Hoping we can tame it by his teenage years.  I love to threaten, "I'm getting the spoon!"  He says, "No, not the spoon!"  Funny thing is, I don't even own one...yet. 😏😅  He ran to the sideline at his football game the other day, to get 13 sucks off his little bro's paci.  I know, I know...he's almost 4.  But you choose your battles.  I hate seeing judgy posts from moms that have it all figured out.  Where's that middle finger emoji when you need it? Just kidding...but really.

4. They Play ROUGH...
Their favorite past time is jumping off the couches and getting each other in a headlock. If you're lying in the floor, you're fair game.  Don't cry if you get jumped on.  I had go take my oldest daughter for an X-ray after her brother and his buddy jumped off the mattress, onto her foot. It's a million wonders and 5 guardian angels, for the reason they haven't been seriously injured, I mean it.   They also enjoy going to the ballpark at ball games, and wrestling with their buddies in the middle of the grass where people are trying to enjoy the game.  Bath time at our house end up with bloody noses, bruises on knees from jumping, dozens of wet towels...and leaky ceiling tiles in our basement from all the water....no lie.  My sweet precious Nana came to stay with them for a couple hours yesterday, and my only verbal instructions were, "Just don't let them climb outside and fall off the deck."  An older lady last week asked my friend at the ballpark if she knew who the child belonged to, that was scaling the dirt cliff at Fred Hale.  Yep, he's mine.  He's a survivor.  And if you only knew his freakish balance and instincts, you would understand why I'm taking my chances with that hill.  Better than him running in the parking lot...

4.  They are ALWAYS HUNGRY...
I complained to Cody the other day about always fixing meals and snacks around the clock.  I mean, seriously...alllll the time.  I can't get them full, they always wanna eat.  I was discussing it with my aunt, who is equally hilarious.  She said she was gonna get a shirt made that said "Snack Bit$ch" and wear it every day of her life, because that's pretty much her role in life.  My refrigerator opens every 5 minutes when they're all at home.  They ALWAYS. WANNA. SNACK.  I can't imagine what it's gonna be like when they hit puberty and teenage growth spurts...we will both have to take a second job.  Hopefully, I'll have a book deal by then, to help with the grocery bill 😜. 

5.  NUDITY is a Way of Life...
And you must accept it.  I'm become very used to naked butts running around my house and out in the yard. It aint nothin but a thang. If you ever stop by my address during the months of January-December summer, you'll often see clothing piles at random places. Jump on the trampoline?  Let's strip.  Going swimming?  Get naked.  See the mail man?  Ditch the clothing.  
  

6.  They LOVE their Momma's...
I never quite understood the term momma bear, til I laid eyes on my first borns.  Mess with my mine, and you will see a side of me that aint pretty.  All my boys, are momma's boys.  They make me melt like a popsicle when they wrap their little arms around my neck.  I love all my babies, my 2 girls and my 3 boys.  They ALL want me at bedtime, and though I'm exhausted at that point, I never turn down snuggles.  I know one say they'll be going out on dates and be too busy with phone calls to their girl friends.  But for now, I am the most important woman in their life.  It's our jobs to let them make messes, wrestle in the floor, make endless forts, and know that dirt won't hurt a thing...and to teach them to be good men. They may be meaner than rattle snakes, but I love that every time the sun begins to set, Hudson will run to get me so we can see how pretty the colors are. And how he notices the sparkle in my eyeshadow...and every single time they hear a helicopter, they grab their daddy and run outside to see it and watch it go over. They will be grown in the blink of an eye... so for now...I'll enjoy the moment and let them be little boys.

What have you learned about raising boys?  Please no negative comments about my parenting...you do you...and I'll keep doing me.  I LOVE all my sweet followers and hope to make my blog a big deal one day, it's kind of my dream. 😅

Post next week will be about Raising Girls and then Mompreneurs!  Please subscribe to my blog and SHARE with your friends!

Much love,

Andi xoxo